Dearest Mother,

[extremely Elton John voice] get that, chonky cat

Still not as big of a pussy as Jim Spanfeller is, amirite?!?!?

Better than the other hat in his locker.

I thought this guy was all about avoiding nightshades?

People know that’s a prop and none of the characters are actually real... right?

so Brown is going to pack up and go somewhere else if people don’t give in to his demands? I wonder where he got the idea that would work?

Honestly the best bar stool sports content I’ve ever seen. 

not just sports media; the New York Times itself spent all of 2016 hyping butter emails

the new helmet doesn’t fit right; it gives him a headache; the chinstrap feels weird; he can’t see his periphery (which makes him more vulnerable to big hits and less likely to track the ball in the air); the league’s “health and safety” initiative is bogus and just an attempt to limit liability; there’s no such thing…

I believe it’s called acid and you buy it in little squares of paper.

I want the ones that make my chompers look like they’re the city walls around Toothopolis fending off the Cavity Creeps. What do they call that product?

I dunno, man. Seems like, with the current pack of fuckwits in charge, we ALL only have about a 9-10 year life expectancy. So, why not go out in glory for our new liege?

Of course Cashman supports law enforcement. Ever notice all those thin blue lines on Yankee jerseys?

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

... Unlock that door, and you may be headed to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the statue there, and you may move on to the Wave Pool. If you survive both the correctly functioning waves AND the accidental tsunami, it may lead you to the Pavement! From there, you must climb into the Ambulance and race to…

Posted the same thing on Jezebel:

I just want to say that the cartoon rendering of Mike Francesa must be an idealized version of him, because it has no mouth.

This is what the photographer walked into: