Don’t sleep on the gator rolling its ass back out of the truck and staring that dude down.

Early this morning a summer intern working on a sports marketing degree woke up to the pettiest, most insufferable email imaginable.

I applaud your general recognition that the ‘teen numbers are overused trash.

There was also the posthumous Jack Johnson pardon—so...two semi-admirable* things, or about one every 8 months or so. And of course that pardon also came with a ready-made “more than Obama did” narrative as well. It’s almost like that’s the main reason behind both.

You normally get a prize for that kinda time? Because Bofa Deez Nuts finished in just over 20 seconds last week and didn’t get anything but shame and an Uber.

Maybe we should consider the possibility that he has an odd-looking head.

If I fall asleep at work I’m blaming it on the NBA Twitter memes

Once is a mistake, twice is pattern. Val was right, Tom Cruise is a fucking asshole.

He zipped one backwards past his own ear in the last game on an almost identical play, but Steph missed the shot. What I’m saying is Jordan Bell’s swaggy self doesn’t lack for confidence.

I think one of the TNT guys pointed this out in the postgame, but you can really see the breakdown of Houston’s offense absent Paul when Harden tires. Everyone else on that team is a screener, spot-up shooter, or rebounder on offense—they all need someone initiating the offense to play off of. It’s really hard to see…

Why are you posting stills from old Robert Zemeckis films on a beauty blog?

It’d also be nice if they would stop trying to die by shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly—i.e. turning the ball over in the most frustrating manner possible.

Godspeed, Ed. Here’s hoping you and Mrs. Ed are having a swell time.

The only thing I’ll remember about Hackenberg is that he was the subject of maybe the best, and most brutal, pre-draft QB analysis I’ve ever read: Why PFF doesn’t have a draftable grade on Christian Hackenberg

Is this the thread where we shit on Harden’s box score?

I’ll bet everything I own that that guy trades commodity futures for a local energy firm and has owned that jersey for less than 24 hours.

All stools are bullshit, unless they are situated across from the grill that’s cooking my bacon and eggs at the Waffle House. I’ll happily sit on that stool as long as necessary. All other stools can GTFO.

Tough to say, they could’ve easily been returned for a full refund.