I bet Riley Cooper had that ‘coon removed from the stadium.

Say what you will but they have a perfectly respectable 6 - 3 record in imaginary match ups with Alabama.

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

Urine does not actually do anything for jellyfish stings except expose the urinator as someone with a pee fetish. Hopefully they thanked you for the imagery before they went home to reminisce about it and jerk off.

thanks susan

Starting it off early this year.

Look out! A domain is coming!

I think your last point it the best one. My wife and I are kid-less (a conscious choice), and as a both a friend-uncle and a real-uncle, I find that parents who have friends, sisters, and brothers who take a genuine interest in their kids benefit everyone involved.

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

Adults who go to Disney without kids are the real weirdos.

Beer snobs pop up where you least expect them.

that’s the most millenial hipster shit i have ever heard

DeMarcus Ware took Oher to the cleaners; thankfully Sandra Bullock picked him up a few hours later.

I spray my comforter down with Lysol

one of the weirdest things about living in NYC is that every time you get a new job or a raise it just puts you in a position of trying to live somewhat decently.