Whaaaat? Next you’ll be telling me the Madea movies aren’t documentaries.

Speaking of Philly, it’s a testament to how terrible a four-sport city we are that we didn’t even make Drew’s “championship sweep” rankings.

Every asshole on south Philly calls their sauce gravy... We get it, you're Italian.

Why would anyone get a tattoo of Mikhail Gorbachev’s birthmark?

Someone tell me if they agree that he is really a closeted liberal doing this to sabotauge the republicans? I got my confirmation from PA that I can vote in the next election.

Next question.

I’m glad to see that not all of my fellow Philadelphians are butt hurt by jokes about our city, like Schmoopi in the grays below

As a native Phialdelphian, I cannot disagree with this sentiment.

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

My tip: volunteer. They’ll give you a shirt and a little cup and feed you bad pizza, as much as you can eat. You’ll pour whatever for an hour and you can drink it while you pour, but whatever, you’re just waiting until the keg runs out. By the middle of hour two the entire scene will be chaos. Time for your break.…

Depends on how you define success. Working that much is a choice, not a mnadate.

Goodell: Two games!

The mention of Facebook is the only thing convincing me this isn’t an article from 1997.

/obligatory

1) Having this conversation will damage many relationships. Hearing that you s.o. wants to weasel their way into fucking other people hurts and erodes a lot of trust.

Jim never gets a break. He has to clean the field, hydrate the players, and fix wind-up watches during every timeout and between quarters.

Sorry, but a black guy getting bad reception in the Boston area doesn't qualify as shocking news

this....this is a better synopsis of why we suck than anything you could have written drew. nothing against you, but this lady takes the cake.

This city is a giant douche-bro enclave, where fuckboys still pop their collars in the gaslamp district without any irony. “OOOH LOOK! IT’S A WHITE HOUSE | BLACK MARKET!”

This sketch does not get nearly enough praise, but I think it might be his best: