To my immense pleasure, he appeared to take the hint and didn't follow me; thanks for your concern. I hope more women start being bitches now, because really, who the fuck cares whether a rapey hobo thinks you're polite?

Jesus, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH CREEPY OLD PERVERTS AND THEIR BURNING NEED TO WIPE THEIR ASSES ON ALL OF OUR LIVES. Just last night I was trying to hang out with my friend where he works, my toddler running around, and this DRUNK. HITCH-HIKER. starts leaning in, slurring “You’re really pretty” and stroking my cheek. I’m…

I learned in one of my criminal justice classes that beautiful people are convicted less frequently and receive lighter sentences when they are.

I did grand jury duty once and the decision before us was whether to indict a guy for making and selling/distributing child pornography. The guy was deepy disturbed. His films had an intro where he would look at you in the camera, introduce himself, and then molest female children. Like under five years old. Infants…

My cousin who is getting sentenced soon for having child porn doesn't look like a pervert. In fact, he is rather handsome. Still he had a ton saved on his computer he tried to say was research.

No lie - I worked with a guy who loved spanking videos, fem-dom, and cum shots. One time we were talking about his “likes” and he dipped his hand in his cup and splashed water in my face. When I screamed, he was like “See how much fun that was?”

Oh come on, it was a joke! I just wanted to put my semen on your body because I thought it would be funny, alright? God, does no one have a sense of humor anymore?

This motherfucker better have a brain tumor or an Ambien Walrus telling him this shit’s a good idea.

I hope she didn’t have to keep working near him. Ew. Ew. Six months for a DNA test. I wonder if you get arrested for that? Is it sexual assault? Attack with biological weapons?

“I’m sorry, Michael. You’re a nice person, but I’m not interested in dating you.”

I would be taking all of the showers forever

He hasn’t been arrested or charged so there is that.

I would like to give more stars for the phrase “consensual semen.” Well put.

“This is not some creepy looking pervert. He’s entirely normal looking,”

I mean it is just so wrong...everyone knows urine is the best way to mark territory.

“BUT THIS IS HOW MY GRANDPARENTS MET AND THEY’VE BEEN 2GETHER 4EVER”

i dont even like consensual semen so good on this lady for not murdering him right then and there

They are people. Everything bad is made of people. Sigh.

1) This is the picture Gothamist used: