Good job avoiding the interception.

I can’t wait for the movie version where there’s a secret meeting in an dark underground parking garage with KatyPerrysBootyHole in a raspy voice saying, “Follow the Wet Butt”.

It really helped me understand that 5 percent number when I heard someone say that the NRA is not an organization for gun owners but an organization for gun manufacturers.

With any luck, he’ll soon forget which team he played for.

Almost immediately after the dive itself. Like I say, it’s Twitter; you know what those people are like.*

Chris LASTNAME, I made $4,000 working from home this month! wow! Click here to find out how click here for the best deals on perscription medications CLICK HERE DISCOUNT RAYBANS

What was it Robert Frost said? “Good fences make good neighbors unless your neighbor is black in which case fuck that guy,” I think it was.

What gets me about these videos (and there are a lot of them) is that the guy doing the yelling never seems to see the punch.

So this is kind of shitty, in that, yes, Hauschka missed the extra point, but in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. The Cardinals needed a field goal, they drove down against the Seahawks defense and scored that field goal.

i CTE what you did there

Technically both are correct, but the preferred is with one L. As opposed to the Sixers, which we are used to seeing with as many L’s as possible.

Once he saw the attorney representing the victims, he knew he was in trouble

Everybody’d be wondering why Alfred Hitchcock was on their grill.

He also tried to get a deal for “official housing” partner, but he couldn’t find a teepee manufacturer willing to buy in.

I’ll offer this ray of hope. Probably won’t get out of the greys, but it’s worth saying.

don’t worry, it’s not over, she still has a chance.

Sure they’re mistaken, but they’re also so MAJESTICALLY mistaken that I’m inspired to go be really, really wrong about something. TODAY IS THE DAY.

I love a good oatmeal raisin. I think the issue is when you think you’re about to eat a chocolate chip and bite into an oatmeal raisin due to cookie-blindness. It’s a bad feeling.

Yes, it reminds me of my favorite German joke: Pushing someone down into the mud and laughing at them.

Officials wanted to punish him further but he plead “Sorry guys”, the ultimate Canadian legal defense. After that they were powerless but to return of verdict of “No, no, we’re sorry.”