Been excited for this all day, but I couldn’t care less about FIFA 2k.

I was gonna make a joke about his website plug, but no. Didn’t have the balls.

Actually, in this case, I think this gif applies to you.

Didn't think I'd ever see you on Foodspin again. Nice to have you back for a guest spot, Burneko.

The way it's written, you can actually feel the pause before the punchline. It breathes more than a comma is usually capable of.

Moral Oral: What I'd Do To Play Football Again

Ha!

How am I only 26th? This is so good.

Ok, so Doug Thompson may have actually been correct in his ruling on the McGavin/Larson controversy of ‘96. But what are the rules concerning a tower falling down on the green—specifically the subsection regarding proper procedure when said tower obstructs a putter’s path.

Ah shit I'm sorry, I also made a McGavin comment before looking.

He gets to take it out of the shoe? The fuck is that? Shooter McGavin would be livid.

On Super Bowl Jambaroo, I said I was going to seriously miss the Tomsula Life Hacks... so glad they're still around.

Achilles plays soccer now?

But why, with no chance of playoffs, would you push a franchise player into coming back on time, even? Is that a conflict of interest, or just interest?

Yeah, that was a real solid choice.

“in 2004 Arsenal were re-gifted the nickname “The Invincibles” for their undefeated season (though who knows how many games they won).”

And people think football is safer WITHOUT the pads...

These comments are funny, but... fuck is with this chick?

Oh my god! Aliens are flying their spacecraft into Jordan Spieth’s dick! It's time to unleash the hogs of war.

It was a highlight reel, but Felder has every little guy move in the book. 9th grade pickup was when I ran into the first little man with a perfect teardrop... that was the most frustrating shit ever. Their rhythm is a half step early, and it fucks you up and down.