Me as a child: “I’ll never live in a haunted house!”

Probably.

My childhood home was in a small town in Indiana. It was a beautiful blue Dutch Colonial home in a neighborhood lined with huge old pine trees. Our house had been built in the 1800s and I always had a sense that it was haunted. The neighborhood was filled with kids my age and all the families got together for summer…

I dont even understand ghosts.

Let this be the first and only joke of its kind.

After being an adult for a few years nothing supernatural can scare me.

Do you remember the story about how the kid was writing a paper with headphones on and there was writing all over the house that said “LOOK AT ME”? It still haunts me and that was I think like 3 years ago.

YES. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you ask her, she’ll probably tell you that she doesn’t even see color.

Tsk, tsk. I want all the distraught straight men to know that many of us find penises beautiful to look at. Unfortunately for them, most of us are gay men. But I want them to know, if they’re sick of having their beautiful penises disrespected and laughed at, we’re waiting with open...arms.

You are very sensible, fancy teaching classes about this?

To repeat an earlier comment on the subject:

“This fucking guy” pretty much sums up my feelings for 2017.

Donald the Bitch is going to find out they’re American citizens when they all register to vote on the mainland.

IT’S BEEN 3 WEEKS!

So did he not know about his girlfriend’s assault until the article came out last week? Because if he did know and said nothing he has no business dragging Hillary (for what exactly?). It’s really gross trying to put blame on a woman who has nothing to do with the entertainment industry.

Agree to disagree re: Bourdain. I love him. I think I might have a photo I snapped from No Reservations from literally ten years ago (!!!) where he’s bashing trump. There’s also an ep where he meets with Obama in...Vietnam maybe (?) that is excellent. The episode in Senegal is outstanding. So upset when they took No…

He is snarky, but when a writer from Bust, a small feminist magazine basically crashed his set asking for an interview, he graciously gave them an interview in which he talked about women in the restaurant industry, his favorite women chefs and raising his daughter as a feminist, in lieu of promoting his projects.

There was a Jezebel article a la Onion style a few years back that was something along the line of “I never new women were people until I had a daughter.” I wish I could find it and I really wish they’d repost it every time something like this happens. But also not because it reminds me too much of my dad and makes me…

Hold up...Casey Affleck’s brother is a harasser? I’m shocked, I say, shocked.