Bitch why don’t you get pregnant then

Troll Level: Activist

My neighbor went deep sea fishing and brought us back some kick ass tuna. I made a sauce from ginger honey vinegar, blood orange olive oil and soy sauce. Lightly pan fried on each side, pink in the middle. I am not someone that would consider themselves a good cook. I am decent.

Honestly, I read that as being your girl will be independent with a family of her own, but your son will never be able to do shit for himself. GRANTED that isn’t what the person who wrote it probably meant. They probably meant, some day your daughter is gonna have sex and then she ain’t your sweet girl any more. She…

I read the worst thing on Facebook the other day and I just really need to share, “This quote my client said to me always makes me tear up: ‘your daughter grows up and becomes a wife but, your son is your son for life.’” I FOREVER NOW MUST TYPE IN ANGER CAPS BECAUSE WHAT IS THIS? WHY? HOW CAN YOU EV? I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!

all they need to say is ‘stop being such a little shit’ or something like that (as long as the kid can’t read)

She takes her fork, scoops out the little peanut pieces, DROPS THEM ON THE FLOOR WITH THE FORK, and says to me “No nuts. Was that so hard?!”

I have a four year old. If you tell him not to touch something because it is hot, he doesn’t touch it. He never has touched something after being warned it is hot. This is an instruction simple enough for a four year old. Why do adults have so much trouble with it?

The "hot enough" thing drove me off the wall. People would come in and order their lattes at 190-200 degrees, MILK CURDLES AT 180 YOU NASTIES. Also, steaming it to much hotter than the typical "extra hot" setting makes the milk spit viciously and I'm not about to burn myself just so you can melt the lining of your…

I have to say, BCO has spurred two important changes in the way I act in restaurants.

So glad he’s praying. That should help.

“Lord, beer me strength.”

People are the worst, but here is a cat hugging a toy.

Omg me and my sister had this thing growing up where when we were sad or stressed we’d say to the other one: “can you please put a cat on me”

Gorillas are the best apes and I will fight* anyone who says otherwise.

That gorilla told that human to put a kitten on her head and that human listened. And I got to see it! This has been a good day.

Yup, those are the magic words. That and being super clear about your destination, as you were—I once spent 45 minutes arguing with a customer service representative about my cancelled flight to Minneapolis, only to have her finally exclaim in frustration that there were simply NO seats available to Chicago, where I’d…

I have to brag about how good my cat is. A squirrel got into my apartment Monday morning. I heard my cat running around like a madcat, and when I went into the parlor he had the squirrel “treed” at the top of a window, hiding behind the curtain. I freaked out, but my cat was calm. He kept the squirrel in place until…

For me, getting older has meant I’m giving zero fucks if I turn you off because of what I believe, espouse, or talk about.