Rebuttal: It’s in the upper 70s/low 80s this week and I’ve been wearing tights all week because I’m too lazy to shave my legs, and if I just had a good maxi dress/skirt I could let my legs be free but also continue to be lazy. I wore my one maxi skirt on Monday and I was very happy with it for this very reason.

Margaret Atwood tweeted at me once and I about shat myself.*

* By “shat,” I mean that I told everyone about it. “Who is Margaret Atwood?” asked my brother. “What is Twitter?” asked my dad. “Who are you?” asked the cheesemonger at Whole Foods who was showing me where the gouda was.

Climb that ladder, Littlefinger

thought this was littlefinger for a hot second.

No1currs about your unrequested pardons. Put on your Pope hat, get in your Pope-mobile and feed some hungry, living children.

Zapruder was a freemason, you know.

Hashtag FUCK THESE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY ASSHOLE BROCLOWNS

WOW

Real talk, I have this talk with all my sex partners.

I have bad news for you.

Single parenthood really isn’t stigmatized for men, first of all. We demonize single mothers, but we treat single fathers like heroes.

Commentator MizJenkins over at Gawker said it perfectly: When God Himself came to Earth as a human he chose woman as the vessel. He did not consult with any man, including Mary’s husband Joseph, in any way.

When you can change how dangerous and uncomfortable pregnancy and childbirth can be, then we can begin to have a conversation about this. Until then, you don’t get to make my medical decisions for me.

“Doctor” Ablow is the worst garbage human pretending to be a doctor on this green earth, and this universe also contains a “doctor” Oz, so that’s really saying something. I’m incapable of directly wishing harm on anyone, but if he were to accidentally fall into an active volcano I wouldn’t exactly be clawing the…

When the cat & robot overlords take over, assholes like this will be the first to go.

ALL HAIL OUR NEW CAT AND ROBOT AND CAT-ROBOT OVERLORDS!

I was this guy’s kryptonite in high school.

I once had a PUA-adherent try to pick me up and when I neg-ed his neg and pointed out that I was literally already fucking one of the band members at the concert we were both at (which was true) and that even if I wasn't, his technique would literally never work, he started drunk crying and telling me how I don’t know…

He lost me at “wadda puss.” Urp.

I cannot deal with the their/there/they're massacre that is this document.

Small or large I can deal with. Medium or large, with no small, makes my head explode.