He's been such a whiney baby about this whole thing. I never thought I'd say this, but he could learn a thing or two from Rod Blagojevich in terms of saying his piece and shutting the fuck up and letting everyone else fucking mock him without really whining about it.

And yet here you are, Judgement Central, and you seem to have caught the express. 'This girl definitely deserves some jail time' is patronising bullshit - she's 33, not a girl.

You know, I see no reason why Indiana's behavior in the past couple of weeks should not result in us just razing it to the ground and starting over.

I was late for French (2nd year college so everything was in French all the time), and said, upon entering class, "Pardonnez-moi! Beaucoup de traffique." Everyone nodded except the professor who laughed, and we all looked at her, frowning. She said, "En Francaise, 'traffique' est... drugs."

This isn't really dumb, but I was at my finest and sneakiest as a third grader when I would get this weird rash from the cold Winter air outside (idk, still happens, v odd) so I would go to the nurse for Benadryl after recess.

Benadryl has never made me sleepy, but since they knew that was a potential side-effect my…

Oh, god, those idiots. I got hit by one of them who didn't see the red light because she was looking for a hamburger joint in another town. If I hadn't waited a moment after I got the green, she would have killed me. As it was, she did $9K damage to my car and I just had some pretty bad bruising.

Pretty much any combinations of words coming out of the talking hole of a guy trying to get me to fuck him without a condom.

My absolutely wonderful fiance is the same with the meandering stories. And he'll say, "Anyway, long story short" like five times while he's telling it. I finally lost it one day and interrupted him with, "IF YOU SAY 'LONG STORY SHORT' FIVE TIMES DURING A STORY, YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT SHORT!!!"

Been thinking about this for 5 minutes now, to decide what my husband really hates. It's got to be the blank stare I'll give him when he starts telling me some story from work or a trip to Home Depot or wherever he wanders off to but the story is all pronouns and no plot. Even worse must be when he gets to the end of…

My first husband wasn't very bright. It's never a good idea to cheat on a wife that works for a government agency known for its expertise in spying. Third generation in the same line of work to boot.

About seven years ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was lucky in that it was fairly isolated so they just chopped that sucker out, but I was devastated by the treatments. Just.. so so sick. An old friend of mine (we'd shared a really shitty apt in NYC in my early 20s and during this time she and I had had a…

In the summer of 2013, I had spent 8 Very Long, Very Hard years in graduate school and was a mere two weeks away from defending my Ph.D. My monogamous husband of 8.5 years went over to visit our closest couple friends' of 5 years house to drink and play video games while I worked on all of my dissertation shit.…

My bf and I had been living together for almost a year. He came home from work one night all saucy and climbed into bed ready to get down.... and when I went down, I tasted another woman on him.

I've told this story before here. But.

"Sorcia, I'm in love with your best friend [a dude with a hilariously ridiculous name that I cannot post here]. We're moving to Virginia and I hope you'll be happy for us."

My (now ex) fiancé and I had a somewhat long-distance relationship. I worked an a city 3 hours from the small town we lived in, so I would stay with friends or my parents while I worked my 4 days on, and go home on my days off. Things were never "good" when I was at home, but anyone can tolerate each other for 4-5…

On behalf of all women, everywhere, I would like to extend to you a sincere apology for ruining all your cool hobbies.

Speaking as a man, I don't see what the big deal is. You don't want us men to rape you women. Fine. We've started cutting back on the rape. Or at least trying. We've even taken your requests to stop beating women so much under consideration.

*lol* Having married into a family who resides largely on Long Island, I now understand why a Long Island iced tea should have that much booze in it. Love em, but wow. So loud, much brash, all the bickering.

I remember my very first Long Island Tea. Actually, I remember the aftermath: