I know we are all probably still traumatized by the Lindsey Lohan biopic, but I would watch the ever-loving hell out of Dallas Buyers Club 2: White Diamonds.

“U SHOULD DEFiNATLEY MAKE $1,000,000 BEFORE U SPEAK TO ME, BY THE WAY ARE YOU RELATED TO LEGOS ? BECUZ U ARE BLOCKED”

I matched with RiFF RAFF on Tinder this weekend. When I messaged him, he unmatched me. I am not sad about this.

this is what nightmares are made of, truly.

What happens to everyone (heterosexual) after a certain age.

I wanna be in your meetings.

I read each Trump post explicitly to see what how you will describe him.

Only if JLaw liked ladies too... :(

No one ever asks me out

I feel like I was one of those humorless precocious kids who always knew how it worked?

It was only this year that I realised that people had a social media ‘image’. Up until that point I earnestly believed that everyone I knew had perfect lives and that made me so happy, but gently puzzled as to why mine was so imperfect, then put it down to autism.

You know, they didn’t get a horse to direct Seabiscuit!

I mean I should delete that comment but honestly “fucking kites” is making me laugh so hard we’re just gonna let it stay for a sec

Kites are the worst. Sometimes I wish I could just clip all their strings.

I was unfamiliar with this group and thank you for bringing it to my attention so that I can now bootydance in my chair for the rest of the day.

#WellActually, it’s “birra” which just means beer or brew.

Eh, he’s working WITH people of another culture here, not taking elements of another culture for his own profit and passing it off as his own shit.

That is the truest act of peace this side of Jesus himself. Actually shaking hands with a daemon.

Mentioning the 9/11 gift shop always makes me think of this.

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.