The incredible Jessica james sucked

oh noooooo they had the coolest shit! i bought a keychain there shaped like a space invader that can open bottles and its arms are two different types of screwdriver heads

ya’ll don’t even question your consumerism, do you? people reading from the third world just threw up in their mouths.

so i’m from uruguay. would love to help out anyone who wants to move here now (for real). look uruguay up. we will welcome refugees with open arms . However I must say... ya’ll really fucked it up this time.

LOL MARK HOPPUS

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Much like South Park, Schumer fearlessly tackles taboo subjects like incest and bodily excretions, except she’s a person, not a cartoon.

dont ever leave us

wouldnt this be better for a menstrual cup??

you suckkk

Here’s my advice to the Clinton campaign: Go out onto that general election debate stage tits out and free-bleeding (probably not a thing for you anymore), and fucking win the election on the back of the woman’s vote. There are enough of us.

Why isn’t Cardi B EVERYWHERE?

i am distraught

i was in an internship with bee shaffer. every year the met ball rolls around and i see her in an unfailingly gorgeous gown i go over to facebook to check if she still has not erased me from her friends’ list.

i am now confused and would like to know this as well.

this picture has now become my everything

I was flying home (Uruguay) from the States on December 24th. I got stuck in Sao Paulo (because it is the shittiest airport in the world and everything bad always happens there). Bad weather in NYC had caused me to be late and miss my connecting flight, and this was *after* completely MISSING my flight in NYC the day…

NICE.

ayyyy adorable she speaks like such a lady and her smile is like wow and then she kicks ass and her body is taiiiiight, yeah v worthy crush recipient

i LOVE her and her mixtape has fire moments.