What's the deal with dumb celebrities capitalizing every word in a tweet? Is that an iPhone setting? It seems like a lot of work just to look ignorant.

Playing sports? What is this, Sweden?

No hockey in summer.

Um yeah, sure.

It is November and there is snow on the ground in Michigan and yesterday it was in the single-digits and I am told it is often this way through April. Empirical evidence shows that summer is better.

Tom Hiddleston looks like a pale, ill child when standing next to Chris Hemsworth. He's perfectly attractive next to other people, but he does not stand up to the actual Norse god who deigned to play Thor for funsies in his spare time.

That Hemsworth is a boy. This Hemsworth is a man.

I mean, it's like saying your favourite food is steak or your favourite season is summer or your favourite member of the Wu is Method Man. It might be true and those things are pretty neat but it kind of makes you Blandy McBlanderson. Ooh, tall muscly blue eyed Australian blondes. You nut you.

Tom Hiddleston looks like and probably is an opossum, and Benedict Cumberbatch's face looks like a plastic bag full of oatmeal. Meanwhile this dude, whoever he is, is nowhere near on par with Chris Pratt.

He's not my particular favorite flavor, but I'm not mad at this choice at all. He's sexy, liked by both men and women, seems like a nice dude, has a big upcoming project, the usual list of attributes. Much better than last year's choice.

This man has nothing on the Stalking Cat.

I save puppies! I have fostered 17 puppies who were on the kill list at shelters. There's no article about me. But here's one of my babies!

I honestly cannot believe I read that. It's either an A grade troll or an asshole you can see from space.

What is the technical term for a group of human platypuses? Is it Burning Man? A Burning Man of platypumans?

All I got from that video is that he really, really likes the color orange and that he might not know what a platypus is.

I guessing Tyra doesn't wash her own dishes. I'd be putting all that on one big plate to save the work.

That photo of Mindy and Chris is my everything.

This one's on point, too:

Michael Ian Black Wins! FATALITY!

Cue guys complaining about women 's purses and shopping bags taking up extra space and how they are being discriminated against, because that totally happens just as often and is totally comparable even though it involves an actual increase in overall mass, rather than the spreading of mass over the largest possible…