Did you just all lives matter me

hm

I’m from Texas, and the only effect I think it’s had is that it’s empowered me to better shit on Texas.

Sup

This isn’t technically fluoride but one time my dentist had on purple gloves, which I thought was odd but didn’t say anything. Then when he stuck his fingers in my mouth, I realized they were grape flavored. It tasted like a grape ring pop if that ring pop was made of latex and also had been urinated on.

He is not a billionaire.

Hurricane Sandy took us out though. Even if the Russians don’t fear us, God does.

I CAN’T AND I’M NOT

It has gotten to the point where Ley has offered Ashley five bucks to manually paste the text of tweets into Slack for her.

[Extremely Tim Marchman voice] GAH! Chicago!

Hmmm...can’t think of any...nothing comes to mind...

But what if she’s been thinking about me this whole time?!

I am long suffering Cubs fan. Bartman hurt.

This also happened in Minnesota, but Blair Qalsh couldn’t really fault someone for pushing too far to the left.

Francona’s their manager. We Boston assholes will still find a way to claim credit if Cleveland wins the World Series.

this is an incredible own

Sure it can, just look in your girlfriend’s nightstand.

I’ve been to mostly Jets games in regards to the NFL. I prefer the fans in front of me to stand while I sit. That way I don’t have to actually watch the Jets play.

a+ for even including “compare surface pro 4 and Binders With Paper”, amazing attention to detail.