their playoff chances have fallen to 32 percent, per FiveThirtyEight. 

Exactly. The joke is that people really hate the fucking Cowboys.

If you’re not from Brazil, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of this tragedy.

No puppet.

God save us from President Pence.

I am not bleeding from my eyes, I’m bleeding from my wherever.

You register to vote. Then you show up on the day at the appropriate polling location, you say “hi, I’m so and so,” they look to see if you’re on their list, and then they let you vote. The idea that there is any meaningful practice of people showing up at a polling place and falsely assuming the identity of a person…

Whatever else can be said about his qualities, he is an absolutely unparalleled snake-oil salesman.

“Uh...okay, what you’re seeing now isn’t technically bullying, but they do seem to be ganging up on her...”

“I said show them a scrum! A SCRUM!”

It’s the reverse. Once they win, he’ll finally be able to stop eating it every. single. day.

Sitting in work actually muttering to myself, “Go, motherf*cker. GO!”

Cowboys Executive: The way it works is we get ourselves in a good position and we don’t make a move again until it’s over. Got it?

INVISIBLE PENIS AND BALLS!

No fair. Jerry Jones’ rigor mortis gives him an advantage.

My mom 100% would’ve left my dad for Mark Grace.

We’ve seen Jets get roasted this badly before. The planned demolition of the W*redacted*

Regressive Field

If you switch the numbers in this chart, it applies to Russell Wilson instead

Look, it’s a Cubs Indians World Series. Might as well just load on the fucking Cinderella stories at this point.