The Reds haven’t boned something this thoroughly since the invasion of Afghanistan.

I tried to read this to my wife. Couldn’t finish, crying and laughing too hard.

What a kerfuffle! Christopher Reeve probably has someone helping him turn over in his grave...

“Why would there be confusion if he spoke English? Joining us in in studio to discuss is Emmitt Smith.”

THE FUTURE!!!

I was hoping that by reading this I would feel better about being a Lions fan. Somehow it was an insufficient amount of misery to make me feel better. We lost another one of the best players ever too soon again this off-season because we suck so bad.

I mean, it’s not even accurate. He probably doesn’t even own any minorities.

I’m not sure it was really necessary to refer to the Cuban-born Sabates as a “minority” in this racist headline.

Now, THIS is a type of message you save the comic sans font for!

When did cops become such delicate fucking flowers? Christ, they’re the most easily butthurt of any profession I can think of.

Your fridge list is so far off. Ketchup has to be number one. Because you never throw it out until there is a new bottle. Because there is always the hope that one good shake will provide whatever amount you need.

Phew! That was close. Good job not making a joke.

There’s always umpiring.

That’s what the show is called, though.

I’m surprised the winner wasn’t Teamy McTeamface.

Everyone is going to be so pissed when GS wins Game 7 at home after Draymond punches LeBron’s dick clean off.

To be fair, when Curry is hot I lose my shit as well.

When you sober up tomorrow, can you repost this?

Beat me to it. Seeing a sad Mercury Morris on TV for the rest of his days would be wonderful.

Man, people will really piss on anything, won’t they? I think last year if you wanted to do the father’s day catch, it cost like $15 per person and the proceeds went to the team’s charity organization (which funds baseball in the inner city I think). A few years ago when the team was away on Father’s Day, they did a…