“The Notebook” is the most garbage-ass movie. Any pleasure derived from it should be accompanied by Raskolnikov-in-Siberia levels of guilt.

I miss RoyGBiv and Mark Shrayber.

No, but it is worth mentioning that the disappearances and murders of non-white women and girls frequently don’t get any national coverage. They are lucky if they get local coverage.

It was Trump. Trump killed JonBenet Ramsey. But he didn’t act alone. Burke paid him $5 to do it and Trump needed the money.

Then John Boehner needs a new nickname?

Are the dogs kosher?

As always the answer is Scientology.

Is this like the Hollywood, glamourized version of the Facebook woman who is always stating how much she loves her boyfriend or husband and she’s #blessed but you really know there’s all kind of shitty baggage in that relationship?

Changing the title on all of the dvds and blurays in circulation to Mr. Smith and Ms. Jolie is gonna be a yuge pain in the ass

Tragically, Trump plans to have that kitten made into a winter cap for Ivanka.

She asked for it when she didn’t wipe us out before we evolved into societies.

I say Putin and Trump get into a fight over whose tits are bigger and we get nuked.

God we are so fucked.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. This is the exact kind of celebrity gossip that I need to balance out the horror that is this election year.

fuck shaun white

This is really important and deserves to be somewhere better than Lifetime.

I think it would be especially funny if her date to her Clinton bash would be an roguishly handsome Muslim.

So their show is just like that Rachel McAdams movie about the morning show in the sense that I got bored 15 minutes in and didn’t watch it.

I bet Donald Trump saw this coming.

She looked beautiful in that blue outfit! Also, she made me laugh in three seconds. Took Kimmel 93 minutes.