It’s not required but if Bill and Hillary hadn’t shown up they would have been deemed petty, sore losers so it was better for them to just go and try not to vomit. Just like everyone else!

The whole day is a miss. She’s just properly dressing for the occasion.

To his credit, Dubya looks about as thrilled as everyone else to be there.

What’s with the uptick in JonBenet related exploitainment programs recently? I know people have always been fascinated by this case but it seems like within the last few months there’s some new much hyped special every other week.

SIX DOGS. SIX.

It has like six different dogs in it. What the hell else could you possibly want?!

Is that a zombie? Why does it move so fast...the only advantage we have over them is the fact that they’re slow!

This is the best and most accurate description of a human being I have ever read.

I get evil joy when a troll leaves me some long ass essay of a comment that probably took them a half hour to write and I get to dismiss it after only reading the first sentence.

My favorite thing about this election is that the same people who always bitched that Obama was soft on Putin are now enthusiastically supporting a guy who is openly sucking his dick. Excuse my language.

Parents Gabby and Diego reportedly love bananas.

Your anti-Wayne Brady sentiments are not welcome around these parts.

It’s like every time someone says “at least things can’t get worse” the Angel of Gloom and Doom looks up and goes “Bitch, you wanna bet?!”

“Said his husband, David Rosenberg, whom he met in 1956 and married eight years ago...”

But Clinton and Trump are practically the same person!!! I mean, they had pretty much opposite platforms but still!!! It doesn’t matter!

Oh no, what did Eddie do? He was so cute in the Harry Potter spin-off movie. Don’t tell me he’s trash, my heart can’t handle it. :(

Excellent question. Never got an answer to that. I don’t think he thought that hard about his plan.

I knew a dude who frequented lesbian bars in the hope of meeting some 24-28 year old woman “coming down” from her young adult or college “lesbian phase.” He figured if they were about to turn 30 they might actually be legitimately attracted to women, I guess.

Her entire life has just been a megasized version of what pretty much every other woman in the workforce has to go through. You have to perform four times as well to get 1/4 of the credit as your male peers.

But how am I supposed to read and enjoy something that doesn’t falsely portray Hillary Clinton in a negative light? I don’t want facts, I want to circle-jerk over how much I hate this woman!