Wow, my hair got botched last week and I've been feeling guilty about my negative Yelp review. I feel so much more reasonable now!

I swear to THE FIVE-FINGERED SIMPSONS GOD that if this isn't available for Canadians I WILL BURN DOWN ALL OF SPRINGFIELD. EVEN THE TIRE FIRE WILL FINALLY TURN TO ASH.

By fuck I think you mean God Bless.

BRB flying to Vegas to make a baby with this guy.

I WORKED at a casino in highschool. Single most depressing job ever.

I had to go for work last week. I stayed at a casino and I got SO depressed. I saw all those glassy-eyed people jamming money into slots, smoking and drinking, and I thought "Damn, this is what is supposed to be fun for adults? Really?" It threw me into a horrible funk. I had to go out by the pool and watch the kids…

This solidifies my resolve that Vegas is not a place worth traveling to.

My vote is- if someone smacks you in the genitals, you have a free pass. I didn't watch the video though, because I was worried I might be subjected to Tim McGraw's music.

Plus he is the only character more annoying that Piper on OITNB.

but he's the perfect Larry because Larry sucks

"Rest in peace, Colleen Donaghy. You were 87 years young, 14 in demon years, and you went out of this world like you came into it: wearing a hat."

Aw, dang. I thought you were talking about Adele Dazeem:

Oh, God, that is terrifying.

Orson Welles clapping.

Don't you mean "Rumour has it a new Adele album is on the way"?

But the quizzes that tell us which Harry Potter house we'd be in still hold up, right?

"it's cool"