One of a hundred variations of: you’re fat/lose weights. Some favorites:

of course, two decades of freckle torment (down to being told i had the “wrong type” of freckle by another freckled individual) and suddenly it’s cute.

Recently, on an online dating site, I received multiple messages from a guy but didn’t respond. I did, however, respond to his final message which was:

Everlane’s Weekender Bag which is $95! I got one this past Christmas (in bone) from my mother, and it’s just great. I’ve got a lot of use of it and I’ve received a lot of compliments. It’s stylish, roomy, and fits perfectly in the overhead luggage storage on planes! Also, I value Everlane’s commitment to transparency.

I just found out my ex of four years is engaged. He did not tell me. I found out on Facebook. I haven’t contacted him about it. I freaked out a little, not because I was like “why am I still single” or “why not me???!!!!” (because I am slutting it up around NYC and I fucking love the single life) but because we broke…

didn’t the romantics and aesthetic philosophers write about this like, 300 years ago? like how burke said that awe felt through the sublime led to bodily change and an ensuing mental delight and clarity? Perhaps if we’re running out of awe-inspiring things we should take annual treks to the Matterhorn?

On Mother’s Day, my mother and I took a walk around the north end of Central Park, and came across a couple preparing to engage in some sort of play right there on the green next to the lake. She was in a bra and shorts and bound in intricate ropes, and he was flicking his whip against the ground. I’m a kink-friendly…

Um, so it had to be one of his sisters...i mean, right?

I definitely feel like my friends have increasingly said to me, with some incredulation, when i compliment them on a shirt or dress or whatever “I got it from old navy” followed by a “I know right” (in my response of “get out”).

This one’s had a bit too much punch. Look at the eyes.

I’m a “side-piece” for several men (in committed but open relationship) that met I via tinder and okcupid. They all stated either upfront in their profile or before our first date what the deal was, and I’m ok with that. So long as we’re all transparent, we’re all good.

My uncle taught Connie and Maury’s son several years back, and they really took a shine to my uncle and have since invited him to a few shindigs at their apartment (at the damn Dakota!) and he always told me that they were awesome people and a great couple.

Because in the 1890s towns decided to break into their own little towns (in a phenomenon called “Boroughitis”) leading to towns with their own police forces and school districts with their own expensive administrations. If you want to live in a nice town with good schools, move to a town where the high schools are…

Um, my grandparents live in a 4,000 squarefoot 200 year old charming as fuck farmhouse Weston, MA on more than an acre and pay less than $8k. You are definitely getting screwed.

Did the author of the NY Times op-ed seriously refer to taylor ham (that’s right, taylor HAM) as Taylor pork roll? I can’t trust their opinion. Further, I live in New York and NYC is definitely not unique in that breakfast sandwiches get made quickly and eaten faster here. That seems par for the course for breakfast…

I’ve always been really into history. I love history: learning about it, discussing it, delving deeply into its complexities. You get the picture. So, I’ve always been a really active participant in any history class that I’ve been part of. In the eighth grade the curriculum was largely Western history through the…

Man, this really validates all my kvetching about the 4/5/6. People think I exaggerate when I say it's the worst. But it's the worst, and in terms of lateness/delays I now have statistical fucking proof!!!!

I had an abortion this summer (my third), and this guy was trying to talk to me and other couples around me while I was heading into the clinic, asking me if we were aware of the dangerous complications. You know, basically scare tactics, clearly preying on peoples anxieties. I was tired because I couldn't drink…

Another horrible aspect of Hitler's eugenics program? Taking away people's reproductive choices through forced sterilization. Choice matters! Her comment is so fucking offensive, but totally not shocking.

I did the fade away on a guy that I went on two dates with and slept with one time. He was nice, but kind of too bro-y for my tastes, way too insecure about his height, and totally boring in bed (he had lazy big dick syndrome and was totally vanilla). So, I like, faded away. I thought it was acceptable because there…