This is me every single day of my life thus far.

Just so you know, this is your future.

Today is a day for Team Cat.

All of this Bey-Z drama has caused me to realize that I am way too invested in people whose music I don't care too much for, and whom I will never know personally.

Moscato is

I love wine but am I the only one who thinks Moscato is an abomination?

Proud to do my part.

She wears so many cozy pastels and never spills on herself. She's a seasoned red wine drinker of a caliber most of us will never achieve.

YOU'RE WELCOME AMERICA.

ATTENTION ALL LADIES:

Awww. Dogs. I like cats better, but I have to admit if I were lost I'd rather be lost with a dog.

My dog is essentially Angie Jordan. Its her way until pay day and where is her ham. If you're on the couch, she's on the couch making sure you have to sit in a yoga position. The only time my dog has ever been near me but not on me or pushing me off the couch/bed is when I had knee surgery. She just sat quietly on the…

The question is: Where do you think Radar got the 500k number? Who do you think was leaking "early estimates"? Who is this mysterious "magazine insider"? Hmm?

How.. How do you get 3/4 of the way through a sundae before you realize it's mayo?

Geez. Everyone should make it their goal in life to not have their death be considered a relief for other people. It can't be that hard.

This is my spouses story. He's an auditor for the state. He basically audits companies to make sure they pay their L&I taxes. He doesn't audit small mom and pop shops, but usually multimillion dollar a year companies. Needless to say, nobody wants to see him when he shows up to audit them.

Get into a long-term relationship. *ba dum tish*

TN or NC vie for best Southern state (not a high hurdle really but when you're competing with South Carolina and Mississippi...)

I can't believe Connecticut isn't higher. It was the most miserable place I've had the displeasure to spend three years. And, it is nothing like New York or New Jersey. At all.

Ummmm...what about Head Unfriendly Black Hottie who knows the reality of the struggle and exactly what it is to suffer the wrath of unplanned for precipitation upon a freshly laid 'do?! And Jessica Lopez, who is not limited by the physical constraints of her paraplegia and manages to stage dive in a damn wheelchair…