To counter your Umbrella take:

Not to mention, peanuts are cheap as hell in a grocery store so stadiums sell them for $10/bag.

I feel like I should start hiding knives in them just so they get banned everywhere.

* or if you’re a functional alcoholic and lucky enough to live in a state where they sell booze. When we lived in California, we’d run in for say, coffee and toilet paper. Half an hour and a dozen samples later, my cart would look like the shopping scene in “Leaving Las Vegas.”

The Kirkland booze is surprisingly good.

Why would any stadium allow you through the gate with an umbrella?

Now I want him to go to the Pats and be terrible, so you are sad.

Umbrellas are useless and horrible and I resent their very existence.

A list of boring athletes without Joe Mauer is fake news. The most white bread slap hitter in history, with all the personality of a tater tot hot dish!

There are plenty of teams who could benefit from signing Colin Kaepernick, but all fan bases have the same excuse as to why their team shouldn’t sign him, well at least the ones who don’t want to appear to be racist.

I’m from LA and even I think he should shut the fuck up. 

Dude, he’s a bassist. They have no other level.

More like, “We made more sense when we did drugs.”

People operating at a high level in so many dimensions. Cerebral, physical, spiritual, emotional, unspoken and telepathic communication.

I don’t know how Flea can drink anything in with his head so far up his ass. I can’t stand that bullshit Cali-by-way-of-Yogi-surfer-3rd-eye-chakra speak.

“People operating at a high level in so many dimensions. Cerebral, physical, spiritual, emotional, unspoken and telepathic communication.”

“but man I get so satisfied, deeply drinking in the depth and beauty of the game,”

He was probably ejected because the players got tired of listening to him go on about how he could have won state.

Flea became Ed Harris so gradually I didn't even notice.

That’s a cool Sonny Bono Halloween costume, bro.