CJK5H.

It’s less floating and more stumbling around the garage by my damn self. Tomato tomato.

Never saw it. Ever see “Shakes the Clown?” Not the porn one, the Bobcat Goldthwait one.

Blake Bortles: “Florida, man!”

Goddammit, fellow men. Every time my wife says all men are scum, it’s shit like this that keeps me quiet...and drinking in the garage. Alone.

That hockey game got intense.

Like all Americans, I will withold judgement on Ovechkin’s goal until I know his feelings about Michelle Wolf’s speech at the Correspondents’ Dinner.

Holy shit, did you know there is an entire fanbase of grown men devoted to My Little Pony...they call themselves “Bronies” and go to conventions. You go, Josh Hader.

Jeter ran a cost-benefit analysis, after Googling “cost-benefit analysis.”

Kickers aren’t people.

Part of me is happy that this guy is fleecing the hell out of Cosby’s legal team. The other part of me is pissed because this is why poor people have no chance in the judicial system.

So did Toonces.

Loafs to the ball. Ignores umpires. Loafs to the ball. Throws a weak, tailing rainbow that misses cutoff man. Collects $100,000 game check, plus per diem. America.

Blown away by the fundamentals.

Preach.

Mexico is hell. Remember this when you form your opinion on immigration.

There’s more red tape in adopting a dog from a kennel than getting a machine gun.

I listen to Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” on 8-track when I feel old. Seriously.

Minnesota also has 5 months if poor sledding.