I’ve been to Bumble. Don’t order the sushi.

It’s called the “Zach Morris”

One that won’t steal a beer.

99. Getting hit by a bus.

Fuck off.

The world is blackballing the wrong Colin.

Friendly note to the fans in attendance:

I continue to believe that I can burn off the stink of depression with heavy doses of alcohol. It may not work well, but it works better than nothing.

Too old for “U up?” ?

“Problematic at best” is an incredible understatement.

Please Google “Ricketts Family GOP”.

Seriously? All the guy said was “That’s my taint, ref.”

It’s it’s almost as if God is a vindictive asshole. I’ll hang up and listen.

Jake is a dog. Finn is human.

Reuben Foster sounds like a $15 sandwich in SF.

R.I.P. Childhood.

My 7 year old is just a seven-year-old. I don’t feel the need to recruit a child into the Woke Army. You only get one childhood it doesn’t deserve to be poisoned by politics, and I would say the same thing to anyone who brings a child to an anti-abortion rally.

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who…

All your favorite teams suck.

Where the hell do you think the commemorative Super Bowl coins are coming from?