Get ready for the goal posts to be moved from “it’s only hearsay” to “whatever other thing we think we can get away with”

Can you explain that map? I’ve been trying to suss out which of my neighbors are Trump supporters since the morning of November 9, 2016. No one here (suburban central AZ) puts up lawn signs or plasters their truck in bumper stickers and as an introvert I don’t engage in conversations with strangers. I’ve never seen a…

Hey Ivanka, when this is all said and done you, your shiny faced husband will be held in contempt by polite society for your unwillingness to have you psycho dad committed. Your children will need to change their names so they don’t carry the stench of your crimes.

Everyone in his orbit is contractually obligated to refer to him as “Mr. President” or “Sir” on a revolving basis. It was just Ivanka’s day.

He really wants to talk in front of a tank but no one will let him. The helicopter was his second choice.

Why are the characters on this show styled in such an aggressively hideous way?

I think this is a parable the Democrats must employ if they are to dethrone our Dennis the Menace “president”.

Why are we still doing [checks notes] it feels [shuffles papers] really lazy.

There is absolutely no way Kavanaugh has changed his beer-loving-sexual-assaulting-financially-sketchy ways. It’s only a matter of time before all the new allegations begin to ooze out from under the rug.

Also; it looks like the wedding was officiated by a Seth Rogen impersonator. This bride is fucking chill.

Twitterfeuds, YouTuber fame, InstapseudoPDA ... in the entire history of pop culture there has never been anything that made old people like me raise their eyebrows in disgust and sneer “what the fuck kids?”

Or at the very least people should be sending this to the NYT - seriously it’s only $5.50

Yep, confidentiality agreements are weapons that need only be unsheathed when the “help” is not obsequiously apologetic.  

so, props manager then.

Dictionary definition of “weird flex”

What the hell does this mean?

I thought the “nude” was a screen shot from a Sims game.

Dear Mike Deering (cattle rancher and the executive vice president of the Missouri Cattlemen’s Association), absolutely NO ONE believes you are doing the grocery shopping, much less in the company of your cranky toddlers, so fuck the fuck off with your idiotic story about how easy you are to trick into buying…

Prog rock fans. I’m pretty old.