I can’t be the only one who read the headline and thought Florida Man had joined the resistance... right?

My dog was prescribed Science Diet last December. He died 10 days later from kidney failure. Please do not trust this brand to have fixed their “supplier problems” 

My dog was prescribed Science Diet last December. He died 10 days later from kidney failure. Please do not trust…

Oh the oxymoronic smell of freshness that lasts for weeks and weeks - almost as long as the migraine it gives me!

The laundromat sends me into a murderous rage. Hauling your clothes out of your apartment to go to a noisy room packed with a horde of strangers? The toxic super-scented detergent & softener everyone uses? The TV blaring Dora the Explorer while some runny nosed brat walks all over the table I’m supposed to fold my…

Love that photo of Babyfists Jr. tryna high five a ghost.

“Yo homes, smell ya later” was a line in the theme song for Fresh Prince of Bel Air at least 10 years before the the Simpsons used it. It was a fairly common expression in the 1990s.

I feel that Carolyn is attempting to build an assassin in Eve — as opposed to simply recruiting one. I’m not convinced that Carolyn’s work with Eve is in any official capacity at all.

Additional point - we never ever have to talk about anyone’s genitals being in contact with Donald Trump.

For a second I thought you were saying that he claims he’s 240 years old but he’s really more like 300 years old.

Diamonds are a lie wrapped in fraud based on misery. 

Gah - I can’t put the volume up... what does he spew at the end of the clip? “Not even _________” ?

Sanders should be canned = Wow, the libs are threatening to kill me with cans! 

Any outing with these idiots would be detestable. The golf just makes it worse.

Maybe we can get tattoos that scream No out-of-network providers are allowed to touch me. There is so much bullshit in our “heathcare system” that shouldn’t be allowed to exist! 50 years from now people will be as schocked by it as we are when we see old movies with people smoking cigarettes inside while they hold…

A person with cancer is not likely to complete treatments in one coverage period and will more often than not need treatment for years and followup for decades. So they are not going to pay $6000 before treatment, they are going to pay $6000 before they are treated EVERY FUCKING YEAR for the rest of their lives. Or…

Holy crap that show looks absurdly bad. I made it through about 30 seconds of the sneak peak. It’s shite.

“Reach” and the mush in his brain would be all “Yeah, yeah, that’s right cause it was the 3rd time they “reached” to make Germany great.”

But which “other” Baldwin would SNL hire to play President Baldwin? 

The “heinousness” of the crime (to Mheghehn anyway) is that shines the spotlight on white privilege. Notice she said “this is what people [who don’t have it] hate about white privilege” not, this is what’s wrong with it. 

Trump is working on getting Martin Shkreli a pardon so he can offer the ICE position to him. Shkreli has not commented on whether he is willing to shave his head for the position.