Um, what you don’t understand about the word “second” is that it has a kind of old-timey definition that is: “the following section should NOT be read literally.” That is why our insightful forefathers put the Guns Guns Guns for Everyone (Who is White) rule as the second amendment.

Trump is probably wistfully imagining a place to put Melania.

Jesus fucking christ, there is no escape from skeevy men.

Also left out the part about the rapture and the 144,000 who will ascend to the heavens while the rest of us duke it out here on earth. Wonder if any evangelical has ever been asked if Donald Trump is eligible for the free ride to heaven?

Wolff is a fucking liar whose lies about other liars are interspersed with nuggets of truth. We all deserve better than this (on all counts.)

Guess what still works... http://www.dogpile.com/

I love how the tyrant’s “constitutional” argument for more guns is that people need them to save them from the tyrants.

No because in their warped fantasy Leslie is thanking the NRA for helping her shed her crazy-lady-liberal-wrong ideas and allowing her to join them in defending the constitution.

An even smaller overlap between the people who are trained military or police who also want to be school janitors, which (if I read correctly) is what Trump proposed at one point.

It’s early and I hate reading shit 5 or 6 times to see if I have missed a word only to discover that the damned word just isn’t there.

There is zero overlap. The NRA circle is ten paces away from the Parks & Rec fans circle and is trying to lure it closer by telling it that other circles want to rape it.

After weeks of building up their tolerance to toxic substances by consuming Tide pods, teens have moved on to eating Marco Rubio Alive at CNN Town Hall.

Hearing “be well” from the Walgreen’s cashier makes me very stabby.

Jebus H. Forced Perspective! That left hand is HUGE! Want to bet there is an intern at the White House who will be tasked with finding Reynolds’s hand stylist first thing in the morning.

Oh, I thought of another one... schedule breaks at specific times every day (like 10:14 or 3:52) and post the times on the door of your office. Teach the kids to read an analog clock and let them knock on your door when it’s time for a break.

Put a coffee pot and water jug in your office. Have your wife text you when she and the kids are outside or napping so you can go to the bathroom in peace.

Just a glimpse of Trump’s flabby jowly face makes me nauseated. I hated the sound of Bush’s whiny fake Texas accent and had to turn off the sound when he was talking, but I can’t see or hear Trump without wanting to throw up.

When E.F.Hutton commits wire fraud, people... well, no one goes to jail if I remember correctly.

I just checked. We have been commanded to be “reflective” - ?

Putin really hit the jackpot with this fucker; Russia is succeeding beyond his wildest dreams.