For the love of god just release it in May if it’s ready, do not try and force it into March/April, Sony....

After all those years keeping Stephen in bubble wrap, the Nats finally determined that the best packing material is two warm teammates.

I completely disagree, the last thing baseball needs is a scandal involving performance enhancing hugs.

Probably some arcane CBA rule no one ever knew about that nets them a compensatory draft pick in perpetuity.

Yep, the Bears could use—

Iä! Iä! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Ntilikina MSG wgah-nagl fhtagn!

YOU WILL DO AS OUR PRIVATE EQUITY OVERLORDS SAY AND YOU WILL THANK THEM FOR THE PRIVILEGE. NOW WATCH THIS FUCKING VIDEO, YOU FUCKING CONSUMER. *shoves computer into your mouth*

Today’s Deadspin is brought to you by legs doing things they aren’t meant to do.

This does seem specifically targeted at fence-perching enthusiasts.

Can you direct me to where the line forms to punch this walking penis in the face.

His comments had everything to do about the game situation that just occurred and nothing else 

Translation: “We’re not going to be very good, so Zion’s going to sit until all of the early season tickets that were sold already just to see Zion are used, then he will debut so we can sell some more.”

You know, I really like this establishment, how rowdy and eclectic it can be, I enjoy stopping by for a drink regularly, but the rotten family that owns it, the glowering matron who eyes the till in the gift shop and glares at everyone to see if they’re stealing, who tries to play her own music, I’m not crazy about…

... which will maybe make your company re-evaluate sending you on all those flights, which is the point. I don’t know about your job, but at mine a lot of the flying people do is for purposes that could pretty easily be done over videoconferencing.

Says the guy with “Deez Nuts” in his name.

Me, a Knicks fan:

The “You May Also Like” feature got me to read a ton of posts I might not have seen otherwise on different sites. I have literally zero interest in watching a several months old video about Trump cheating at golf.

Also, imagine shutting down a politics site during the lead up to a presidential election and thinking…

Can you make a sport where you win if you give your opponent a serious brain injury acceptably safe?

Killing Splinter is obviously the greater sin, but why did the VC dipshits ruin the “you may also like” on the main page that used to link to like other sites’ stuff? Now it just shows the same nonsense video articles over and over and over.