the five phases of Guys

You know how passionate people get about instant replay? I’m that way about in-helmet headsets. I don’t even like plays being signaled in from the sidelines. And don’t get me started on Chip Kelly’s rebuses.

I like to think Wilson succeeded because he didn’t have to listen to Brian Schottenheimer.

The same thing, over and over again. 

I know exactly how he feels. There was this media company I liked that was bought by sociopathic hedge fund vampires who paid themselves obscene salaries while running the company into the ground.

I mean that’s normal? It sets up a force at home, and the double play. 

Yeah, the accent mark is pretty critical in that particular instance!

A lot of people don’t realize this, but if you throw out that first inning they only lost 3-1. That’s pretty close.

It takes an amazing act of assholery to make the Cardinals look like the team I want to root for. The Braves managed to get there. Well done. 

The Cardinals played like they are REALLY motivated to get some soggy fast food at the White House next spring and bring Fredbird along, too.

Every time I fart in an EMPTY elevator, someone always gets in on the very next floor.

LOLOLOLOL

The Braves fans shouldn’t have an issue with this as they’re already used to saying the n word only when POC aren’t around.

He also helped pave the way for the current president, by lowering that bar.

I got flamed to hell and back on Splinter for saying this, but I’ll say it here too, because what the hell. George W. Bush was a profoundly awful president, both in terms of domestic and foreign policy. He was, without question, a criminal of great magnitude. He was not, however, aspiring to become the dictator of a…

This is stupid. If you’re claiming that you’ve never in your life told anyone anything you would feel uncomfortable later finding in the pages of a tabloid, you’re a liar.

Eh, posting things to a locked, private social media account restricted to trusted friends and family is not meaningfully different from sending an email to a private mailing list, or just talking to a group of close associates around a dinner table. It’s fine to expect those people to keep what they hear private, and…

They most certainly have that right.

Since this is obviously a made up story, in order to make it easier for everyone else to separate fact from fiction here, I’ve taken the liberty of going through the entire article and highlighting the things that are obviously make believe so readers coming after me can focus on the aspects of the article that may be…

The idea that shit-talking a candidate during a primary harms them in the general was probably never very true, and most assuredly isn’t true at all now. The overwhelming majority of people in this country know who they will vote for next November based solely on the letter by their name. Modern American elections are…