If Mark Schlereth could play his whole career without a brain, this guy should be able to play without a spleen.

This is a huge fucking bummer. Forgive me for going all old-man-grunts-about-back-in-the-day on you, but I can remember when Sports Illustrated was pretty much required reading for sports fans and seeing it gutted and turned into a [shudders] content farm is massively depressing, to say nothing of the poor people who…

Bob’s Mattress Dungeon sounds more likely to be selling shame. Sample review:

I can pretty much guarantee that this guy has more muscle than I do.

I actually meant that at the time — i.e. pre-antisemitic rant — being compared to Mel Gibson felt very cool, which in retrospect it...doesn’t so much.

So, believe it or not, but I actually did this — I dislocated my shoulder and then knocked it back into place — and I can confirm that it’s staggeringly, cripplingly painful. It was almost an out-of-body experience; I vaguely wondered why someone screaming so loudly before realizing it was me. Safe to say, I couldn’t…

Is it possible that no player made the comment to Rantz, and that Rantz is just jerking off into a microphone?

You’re still getting the recommended stories with bucket images? For a week or more now, I’ve been getting this shit, like it’s 2010 or something.

Somewhere Goose Gossage just ruined family dinner.

Big if true

I mean, there are still too many Knicks.

Ru-Fi-GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL!

I’m so mad at you for getting me to laugh at this.

Dammit! I was worried I missed a joke somewhere, and I was right. I should just never talk.

I love how you managed to spell the particularly difficult “Galifianakis” correctly but gave him the completely wrong first name. I’m fired up.

So what’s the actual review grade? smh

This is the same shit we saw with the Saints/Texans game on Monday. The rulebook is so byzantine and the replay process so broken that it’s like watching the world’s most boring rules procedural and not a football game. Not every fucking play needs to be reviewed. Save it for the important shit, and put a damn time…

It’s a betrayal of the ethos of Deadspin that the headline to this article is not “We Are Drowning In Dongs.”

I like to watch cricket (bear with me here). The places I used to watch cricket now either don’t show cricket or the cricket is paywalled to hell. Because I miss cricket — and because I am an emotionally stunted lunatic — I designed my own probability-driven, dice-based cricket game that I could play to simulate…

Oh my god, it’s fucking worst. I am constantly thinking a flag is being thrown.