You know that EVERY SINGLE ONE of these dragons has at least two kids, a stay at home wife, and a mistress.

High-five for the Carrie reference.

I'd eat that even if the proceeds benefited Satan.

I'm glad to have brightened your work day :-)

I was holding in my laughter (at work) until I got to "stay-at-barn mom." I surrender!

Seriously. Portland knows how to piss off right-wingers and make some delicious noms.

See what they made me do?! Messing with me was an udder miss steak...those cow herds.

That's beautiful!

Pasture/Pasteurization harassment!

Ugh! These Welfare Creams are just ruining America.

They're all going to MOO AT YOU

Whore-cows having lots of calves with different bulls. I bet they don't even know the name of the fathers!

I currently live right next to a Planned Parenthood. They have regular protestors. Mostly old white men, who hold up signs. They pass out inaccurate pamphlets about birth control because apparently birth control is not how you prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortion. I hate them with a blinding passion. Every time I…

Don't make me go all Carrie-cow at the prom.

We don't want to hear about your bovine dirty pillows.

"Planned Parenthood is an amazing organization that does so much to help women have access to affordable healthcare," she says. "The fact that some people only focus on what is such an infinitesimal part of the service they provide is confusing to me."

How do you know if someone is anti-choice?

Oh, I get it. Ice cream's main component is cream, which comes from cow-boobs. And boobs that are not sitting around solely for men's enjoyment AS GOD INTENDED and are serving some other purpose are nasty-pasty. The boob-juice is intended for calves only, calves conceived within male-female cow "wait-until-marriage…

I know a guy who went to seminary because he was gay and spent his whole life hating gays! He is "Brother Peregrine," which is like the most gay monk name possible.