There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s covfefe.

In your universe is Hillary Clinton an evil, fake rich, washed up former reality show host?

Yup. Of all the braindead, dumbass things he said, this was the one that REALLY jumped out at me. It’s their country too, Don. They are just as much Americans as you are (much as I know that chaps your racist, wrinkled ass).

But at least a few people have paper towels.

Well shit, you’re telling me trump becomes president in the “good” universe, too?

Good Grief, you are right. Good Grief!

It goes without saying, but clearly he still sees Puerto Rico and its residents as the “other.” He’s speaking as though one nation has arrived and is doing humanitarian work for another.

Please. GWB’s Katrina response looks downright dignified compared to this.

I hate him so much, and I’m so, so tired.

He thinks he’s Monty fucking Hall (RIP, btw). He thinks a desperate crowd of hurricane survivors are an audience. He thinks he is the benevolent game show host, and that giving out “prizes” will win him the adoration of his loyal viewers. This is actually a horrifying tableau reminiscent of feudal times. The people of…

You can file a claim on a gingerbread house and receive damages? What’s next, my brother suing me because I raided his Lego pirate ship for parts when we were kids?

GOOD!!!! I have been waiting to hear about this. Weiner is an asshole. One of those people who does great teary apologies and mea culpas..and then continues to do exactly what he was doing before. I am glad he is facing real world consequences.

Nothing drives me crazier than when people say “we” or “they” are pregnant. No, SHE is pregnant. HE is still drinking alcohol and wearing his normal clothes and sleeping on his stomach and not having strangers try to touch his belly in public.

Can we just end these stupid fucking theme parks already? I mean seriously.. how much longer can these places survive?

It’s almost like Sea World is bad at this.

What. The. Fuck.

• Guess what: “God has given Trump the authority to take out Kim Jong Un,” says an evangelical nutbag who happens to advise the president. [Washington Post]