But beware Maccarroni let Fey for even now seeks to burn all that you might eat.

Just because some saucy tart hurls a fork at you doesn't make you a king. It's not like some bint can come up out of a pool of duck sauce, fling chop sticks at you and make you emperor of PF Changs.

This thread is everything.

I love that you changed your username specifically for this. For what it's worth (and because a lot of people are commenting about this), I'm pretty sure that's a cilantro-lime crema, not guac.

Ah, Forxcalibur. Alas, many a man has tried to free that fork from within the enchanted block of parmesan, but all that have gone North to this garden of olives have never been seen again.

The lady in the Olive Garden lake of marinara sauce has to choose you, then you have to pull a pasta fork from a block of extra hard cheese.

Best boss I ever had was when I was working for a bank.

As a Canadian, I'll confirm that many Canadians are willing to break stereotype in order to shut down racist assholes like the one in Amy's story.

I'm noticing that a lot of these BCO posts involve people who work/eat at The Olive Garden.

Even better, just leave a note that says 'Chop Chop'.

"Waiter! Bread sticks! And there's a small fleck of cheese on this table. Have it cleaned. Chop chop!" Needless to say, the evening went downhill from there.

Two points came to mind in this weeks column.

It's St Patrick's Day guacamole.

THIS GUACAMOLE IS THE INCORRECT COLOR.

Sending a gift certificate for a shitty restaurant..... Man, that is gold. Delayed revenge like that is just artistry.

My anti-choice mother, when I told her I would be getting a Mirena IUD: "It doesn't stop eggs from being fertilized; it just stops them from implanting!" *wrings hands* Me: "I sure as hell hope so!" I don't owe anything to any goddamn egg.

Man, I've never worked in a restaurant but I HAVE had some shitty customer service jobs.

As the chick who had everything go wrong with HBC, I'm glad someone else is saying this. I just got a copper-T and am hoping I can quit the conversations with every new doc about how no, hormones make me severely depressed, suicidal, give me migraines three and a half out of four weeks of each cycle, and gave me a…

Bravo!

It sounds like, either way, you run a legitimate risk of ending up exhausted and cleaning up poop. Damned if you do, dammed if you don't.