How DAREST THOU hyperlink in the fashion common to Gawker Media, Madeleine. HOW DAREST THOU. A man died. You have to explicitly spell that out in your thoughtful essay on this woman who never fully got her own time of day. FOR SHAMMMMME. SHAMEBURGER

Anywho, I thought this was a beautiful piece. Great job.

"For the record, Madam Secretary was under the impression that other State Department employees were keeping records of her real body on their own accounts, so was not under the impression that she needed to retain it for this picture."

Someone just fucking shoot me from a cannon into space pls

This is an amazing story. Your mom is quite a lady. I hope your father recovered. Thank you for sharing this. It made me tear up.

My birthday is a few days before Christmas, and Barbie came out the year I was four. My father was sick that year and in and out of the hospital, and my mom was working nights in a restaurant to support us.

HI BURT!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! PLEASE COME BACK.

BURT!!! Hello! We miss you!

I'm going to weld my found-objects metal sculpture when I'm on the Megabus next.

This bodes well for my plan to start decoupaging that dresser on my next bus ride.

I did crocheting for like a month in high school. I GET IT

Laboured.

Keep that clock radio! We were living in an apartment while our house was being built and the clock radio (of approximately that vintage) disappeared on us. First of all, there are practically NO clock radios to be purchased anymore. Second of all, the Sony cube that I got as a stop-gap was stupidly difficult to…

Hahahahaha. I also still have my clock radio from the 80s with the "wood paneling."

THAT CLOCK.

I do have this fantasy that someday I will buy a whole set of those colorful faux-velvet hangers (that keep things from slipping off like a boss) and organize the whole closet by type: Black for Formal, Green for Fun and Awesome, Blue for Woooork, Purple for Husband's Stuff, Red for Seriously You Haven't Worn This In…

I did have love letters. Lots of them. At some point I imposed some organization- one manila envelope for each major relationship. Shortly after I married, at age 31, I decided that I wouldn't want my future child to find these letters after my future death, so I disposed of them. I plunked them right in the…

There's a great documentary on Netflix called Somm, all about people who preparing for the test to become master sommeliers. And they talk about literally tasting/sniffing all of the things. The one guy is like, "hey you know you're not born knowing what fresh lilac, a crushed lilac, and a rotten lilac smell like. You…

Left Shark doesn't know what crab water tastes like?

A little bit like hot ham water, but crabbier.

"Well, Mr. President I'm sorry that today isn't what you were expecting and I agree that History will almost certainly remember her as being the most important member of the Scooby Gang but Selma, sir, is the city in Alabama"