I would just like to sing you a little song. It goes, “Welcome to our learning farm, we have lots to show you! Shapes and colors, music too! There’s so much to do!” We have that same toy that is behind your utterly adorable baby.

aka Milania's Saturday nights..

Amoruso described Ferrucci and the other employees as having been let go for “being mean girls.”

Nasty Skank was probably too literal...

When asked, since she had a key to the post office box, was it possible she put that envelope in there herself, Dolezal said: “I don’t know if I even have any words for that because, as a mother of two black sons, I would never terrorize my children and I don’t know any mother, personally who would trump up or…

I love you. Reading your post was almost as wonderful an experience as reading the Williams Sonoma catalog for the laughs.

I would think we had the same friend but the wedding was more like 8 years ago. The bride and groom were (and still are) struggling actors living in Brooklyn (not the trendy part) trying to make it in theater. Girlfriend registered for $150 each dishes inlaid with gold and enamel. And like service for 12. My mind was…

The pricing of the stuff isn’t what got to me - Richies gonna rich, ya know? What made me laugh about this registry is that it strikes me as the registry of a woman who thinks she’s suddenly gonna start cooking now that she’s married. And then serve people her ‘creations’ on fancy dinnerware. If you don’t already have…

Is your family accepting new member applications?

Aw. I was the flower girl in my cousin’s wedding when I was five and I was so shy and terrified of going down the aisle alone with all those people watching that I had to have my stepdad hold my hand and walk me down.

We did the feeding each other cake thing just to appease the photographer. As my husband brought the fork up to my face, the bite that was on it plummeted straight down into the gap between my decollete and my dress (b/c I’d lost 4 lbs in the 2 incredibly stressful days leading up to the wedding and my boobs were now…

NEEDS ALL THE STARS

Samesies! Except I was 13, it was a cookie mix, and it was extra virgin olive oil. And I was never trusted again to provide road trip snacks.

The first car I ever purchased was a used, 9 year old Cadillac Escalade. Don’t ask me why I thought this was the car for me but I loved that big ol’ beast. I owned her for 3 years before I started dating a guy who felt it was within his role to look after my vehicle’s maintenance. That’s when he taught me about oil…

He looks like a turtle who’s trying to poop.

Hi, twin! I could have written that. I *have* written that. Been saying it since I was 12 years old. That and I never want to risk doing to another person the things she did to me. After years and years of different types of talk therapy styles, I found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and it has been a lifesaver. It…

OMG! The “some mothers put cigarettes out on their kids” line! Do you even KNOW how many times my mother said that to me growing up??!! Why is that the universal standard that all bad moms measure themselves against??

I think the other problem with Radnor (vs. Braff) is that he’s 1) NOT attractive and 2) that he either only picks roles where he plays a whiny manbaby who thinks his ‘conflicted’ shtick is still cute when it’s really just exhausting OR that gross manbaby is who he actually is and, like Julia Roberts, he can only play…

Also, as someone who dresses modestly for religious reasons, the surge in popularity of maxi dresses and floor-length skirts has made looking cute while staying covered SO MUCH easier! I mean, they’re in Target now!

I thought I looked nice in this. Guess I was wrong!