“When you are a pioneer, like I am, it’s not easy,’ she said. ‘I’m the only white person who owns and lives on this street.’”

With tremendous love and respect for each other... Our priority will continue to be raising our children as devoted parents and the closest of friends.

Just once, I’d like to read an honest divorce announcement. That reads like something their publicist already had on file, it’s the most generic, empty statement I’ve ever heard

Hey, not every movie can be Crash.

I had two deeply erotic dreams about him last week and now I have a raging boner for him. The cunt wants what the cunt wants I guess, but i’m not entirely comfortable about it.

Yeah, gabardine refers to the weave of the fabric, not the fiber content. It’s literally an impossible thing to be allergic to.

kicked Disick to the curb (where he summers, winters, springs, and falls)

I’m glad this book exists, because this is who I was in college. At the same time, I’m probably never going to read it, because I lived that existence and don’t want to return.

Man, if you are acting the fool such that Oprah Winfrey gets World Legend Sidney Poitier to take a break from his birthday to tell your ass to act right, you had better straighten up and fly right. That is no joke.

I read the whole first part of this article like, OH GOD THERES A BOOK ABOUT ME

So someone wrote a novel about my college years. Das cool.

This may very well be a masterpiece but since I lived this life from puberty until I met my husband (at age 28!) I can’t possibly bring myself to read it.

Literally the story of my life if you substitute college and country.

When she and Ryan Reynolds got engaged a friend of mine called them “a perfectly matched set of golden retrievers” and that is the only thing I can think of when she shows up in my feed.

I wish I could give this extra stars for my delight at watching Tom Brady look like an idiot.

Baby eel smuggling is how Melania describes Donald’s lovemaking.

I’m calling it now, Stephen King will soon release a book set near Bangor wherein a plucky, precocious kid will team up with a tormented recovering alcoholic writer to fight evil eel poachers. Only the poachers will turn out to be a backwater clan of vaguely racist country folk who are in the thrall of the eels, who…

I’m very much hoping President Kamala Harris will usher in a public option.

I’m ignorant, but how does that work?

I disagree respectfully.