So now she has to be charming and gorgeous and talented and smart AND nice? UGHHHH WHYYY GOD WHYYYYYY

In related news, Storks is the most criminally underrated movie of 2016. I saw it the other day and I CRIED laughing.

My friend works in HR for a major tech company and was like “hey do you watch SV? Not a show. Actual documentary.”

Yeah, we in New England do not necessarily like DD, we just accept it as a part of life, like clapboard houses, humid summers, gypsy moth infestations, and Afflecks.

She also looked at Chris Pine like that their entire press tour, so either she did the bingo-bango with both of them (which, understandable) or that’s just how she looks at hot dudes (also understandable).

I feel like these two things are related, but I further feel that I do not want to know why.

I have nothing to add to this except that, yesterday, we had a cookout with my aunt and uncle. Recently, they volunteered to bump twice on a flight, so they got upgraded to first class(!). My uncle promptly spilled cranberry juice on the nice young man next to him, who laughed it off and bought him another one. They…

A couple of years ago I was stuck in a stalled crowd at a con and UNASHAMEDLY creeped (crept? crope?) on him through a gap in a photobooth curtain. Holy. Mother. If I’d been any closer to him I would have died. In the Shakesperean sense.

IFL tell-all memoirs, so I read Escape, by Carolyn Jessop, and Stolen Innocence, by Elissa Wall. Combined with Under the Banner of Heaven, they’ll pretty much give you all the creepy-ass details about the FLDS you’ll ever need.

Spiritually speaking, I want to say I’m the cool, sassy girl in the denim vest, but let’s be honest I am the girl with the peach headband eating Cheetos like a wolverine.

Yah, this is EXACTLY how I acted when I got let go from a temp job at 23 after leaving work early three days in a row to make tech week rehearsals. (I was NOT GREAT at the “juggling two actual commitments” thing.) But I made this rant over text and calls WITH MY FRIENDS and drank a lot of beer and yelled a lot and…

I’m Episcopalian and we get a lot of shit for being boring (which we most certainly are), but we are all about the gay marriage. We’ve actually been suspended from the Anglican Communion temporarily over it. Also, you can be just about anywhere on the faith spectrum and you’re still welcome. I am not kidding when I…

I just watched the whole series (for the first time, so like...not 16 years late or anything) on Memorial Day, and I twigged to his voice before his face and I was like ARE YOU FU....but then he was only in it for five seconds, so fine. I’m more embarrassed that I spent several episodes thinking “dang, that guy looks…

Competence boner. Definitely a thing.

I am not always as up-to-date as I could be on who sings what. I heard “Sign of the Times” on the radio the other day and thought it was some early Bowie I had never heard. I LOVED it and them my much cooler little sister was like “HARRY FUCKIN STYLES” and I was like GOD FUCKING DAMMIT and then I saw the trailer for…

OF COURSE Ryan Lochte’s kid is named Caiden Zane. It is the Ryan Lochtiest name a child could possibly have. If there had been an Olympic race to name Ryan Lochte’s offspring, Caiden Zane would have won by a Katie Ledecky amount of time. It is so perfectly Lochte that I fear the Oracle of Delphi may have whispered in…

If you like heteronormative bonkfests interspersed with Ayla’s accidental Mary Sue discoveries of, like, the wheel and formfitting underwear, by all means read them. Other than that, eh.

Don’t know whether I should be proud or ashamed that i had trouble voting because I already read most of these books in my pre-internet middle school years.

My uncle grows medicinal marijuana for my aunt (his sister) in a greenhouse he built himself. My uncle is a backwoods swamp Yankee who has never, in his 62 years of life, actually held a job (...they weren’t big on diagnosing ADHD in Navy brats in the 60s) but he is good at everything he tries. So word got around that…

I find it totally baffling (and enraging) that any woman who set foot in a school--hell, in human company--after the age of 9 doesn’t recognize Ivanka for exactly what she is: the world’s most powerful and dangerous mean girl/queen bee. Like, picture yourself having to share a communal locker room with Ivanka during…