I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

There are a large number of liberal/moderate churches out there. Being a Christian doesn’t mean being conservative.

We got another one! Bwahahaha!

Worst week of my life? Probably two years ago. One night I told my husband of over a decade that I was going to leave, because he was mean to me and made me afraid of him.

On election day this week, I found out that I got an interview with Boeing for a paid internship this summer. I was elated. It is literally the path to my dream job. I was prepared to get smashingly drunk that night to celebrate getting an interview opportunity and seeing the first woman President. We bought champagne…

I know I am not the only one who has spent the last 4 days blindingly drunk, but I actually called into work today just to specifically get crap housed again. I am a chef at a country club and I don’t know if I can make food for a bunch of Trump supporters anymore. I seriously don’t know if I can do it anymore.

Thank you! In the other post, I ranted about why I’ve had enough of the entitled white male schtick. Just shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. This is not your election. This is mine.

To be honest, I also don’t care about Trump’s consensual affairs. We’d probably have to get rid of 99% of all politicians if we gave a shit about consensual affairs, particularly when the participants are smart enough to keep it all under wraps (unlike tweein’ Weiner).

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Trump supporter: “Well, maybe he did strangle a baby but......emails!”

At this point you’d have to have footage of him strangling a baby for it to matter.

A couple years ago my mother informed me that I was named after “Jory” from the sequel to “Flowers in the Attic”

I sang in the D.A.R.E. choir.

somewhere between 8 and 9 i assumed it was jessica chastain proudly displaying the remains of the last person to ever confuse her with bryce dallas howard.

I KNOW.

“You rarely see authentic portrayals of people of faith.”

“And I am burdened with glowfish puppies!”

To me it looks like he’s saying glowfish puppies.

Beats Hiddleston’s pick up line

That’s his O-face as well, I’d wager.