I have FORTY-TWO local questions this year. And they’re worded all nonchalantly, like “hey maybe the town manager shouldn’t have sole discretion to hire and fire municipal employees on a whim idk” and “maybe we should require our future directors of finance to have a bachelor’s degree and a few years’ experience in…

 Bryan Cranston is almost twice my age but I TOTALLY would. I have nothing constructive to add.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE. WHY HAS NO ONE HEARD OF IT.

I watched my friends’ 4-year-old for a night while they went to a family wedding. I was coming up to check on her and found her snoring—like, full-on lumberjack snoring—in this little blanket-pillow-stuffed animal nest she’d made for herself on the floor of the hallway, curled up next to the railing. I sent my friends…

My existential dread over this election is such that nothing can pierce it, but this story is somewhat like having a semi-stale PB&J haphazardly tossed at me through the slot of a prison door as I’m starving to death. Like, ultimately it’s not going to help, but hey, thanks for the thought.

Pretty sure CBV is only, like, 10% acting once JEJ gets going. I was intimidated and it was fake, thirty years ago, and on a computer screen.

Ok so this show is clearly signaling the apocalypse BUT Jodie Sweetin’s dress is amazing and she looks great. She’s really rocking that “former Texas beauty queen who rules the town with an iron fist” vibe. I would totally watch that Lifetime movie.

Reign is amazing. I love it when people flip their shit about the (AMAZING) costumes especially. Like, you do realize that they were just dancing to a Sam Smith song played on period instruments and this is a fantasy history show for teenagers, right?

Isabelle Huppert is amazing. I totally believe she’s perfect in whatever the hell this film turns out to be, because in any case it will be fucked up, and have you seen The Piano Teacher? Holy shit. FUCKED. UP.

ME: I literally can’t move my legs at all and I’m at risk for deep-vein thrombosis.

I want to give a genuine shout-out to Madison Kocian, for a) graciousness about receiving approximately zero percent of the individual press coverage, which might make another girl visibly cranky, b) understanding and accepting her relatively minor place on the team while C) being 100% supportive and positive of her…

yes pleeeeease! that would make my day/week/month.

I cackled like a 12-year-old every time someone said “Steele Johnson,” one of the many reasons I could never be a news personality. Then he won and cried like a baby and started talking about Jesus and just generally seemed like the guileless Midwestern boy most hardass New Englanders like me usually roll their eyes…

I work at a library so I read it on Sunday before we processed it. It...is very much like a decent fanfic. Some good characterization, some terrible—in particular Harry, who I have trouble believing would treat his kid that way, and WAAAY too fast in the opening act so you don’t get a clear idea of Albus’s character…

I live in town. It’s hard to tell from the angle of this photo, but her house sits on the top of a pretty steep rise and there’s nothing behind it but the road, which slopes down pretty sharply to the shopping/beach district. She’s not blocking anybody’s view. There’s a house or two to the left of hers and then a huge…

Seriously. I am weirdly invested in this not being true.

No joke, I think she should just unleash the hounds and be a horror writer. I mean, she never will because Mormon mom, but the only effective scene in Twilight is the Bella transformation/birth scene. It is TERRIFYING.

OH MY GOD THAT FUCKING EPISODE. I have never forgotten it.

My feelings about this particular picture aside...I kind of like guyliner sometimes? it can look really good and I wish it were more socially acceptable? who doesn’t want their eyes to pop sometimes? so many questions?

I love how her defense is literally “oh jeez guys, I really just meant to be a dumpster fire of a person IN PRIVATE except that darn snapchat outwitted me!” Thanks for bringing my worst mean-girl middle school fears to life, garbage human!