Dolphins, too. They are the rapetastic assholes of the sea.

I like the cut of your jib. ;)

It’s just so damn presumptive for some dumbshit pseudohippie celeb who knows nothing of Newfoundland/Labrador culture to just fucking waltz in and say “ZOMG YOU SEAL MURDERERRRRRS KNOCK IT OFF”. It pisses me the fuck off too (full disclosure: I married a Newfie). These PETA assholes make me want to skin and wear a…

That’s not a schooner, it’s a SAILBOAT!

I grew up just south of Portland, and I vaguely remember my mom, grandma, and I going out to a parking lot and scraping up volcanic ash when Mt St Helens erupted!

One of the trains I took home from college was running 26 HOURS LATE.

LOL that reminds me of Margaret Cho’s bit: “I’ve never been stopped by the police, but one time my Japanese friend and I were stopped by a group of kids who yelled, ‘Fucking Chinos ruin everything!’ We weren’t angry because we weren’t sure whether they were talking about us or the pants. See, they could have been…

The clinic nurse gave me one of those after I had an abortion nearly 20 years ago. I was like, WTF, I remember these things from "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret"!

OMFG those tracts that look like money make me REALLY want the ability to set fire to people with my mind. Anyone who leaves one of those as a tip (or puts them under your windshield wiper in the parking lot) ought to be beaten to death with their own shoes.

The book gave me the screaming horrors; I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the movie.

I was not impressed by Cabin in the Woods (especially that ending, WTAF), and I usually love horror movies.

I remember when Tarsem did music videos. The one for "Losing My Religion" was a masterpiece.

This is proof positive that Kelly Ripa has a HILARIOUS sense of humour about herself!

I have had terrific luck scrounging my local Value Village. I found a pair of Baby Phat jeans there for like 10 bucks and they are the BEST fitting jeans I have ever put on my butt. I just wish I could find more of them!

EW EW EW EW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I may have to change my name... LOL

deadmau5 and Daft Punk are my regular go-tos for running music.

"A fanatic does what he thinks God would do, if only He knew the facts of the situation."

As someone raised by an unwed teenage mother, I think I would rather swallow Drano while rolling on broken glass than have a child. I've never wanted anything to do with parenting, as I have zero patience for thought processes slower or less experienced than my own.

Oh god. This is the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had, and it's a doozy (pun intended).