Maybe expend some of that mental energy on thoughtful introspection instead, before contemplating the depths of others.

Mocktails are just a way to lie to yourself and/or others about your ability to exhibit will power and dedication. It utterly defeats the vastly impactful social and personal meaning such an endeavor could encompass. And from your stories, it was utterly shameful how easily you folded.

Give it up. You can’t even convince yourself you’re actually accomplishing anything.

It’s not just the aroma. Most bitters are 80-90+ proof.

Maybe pick up smoking?

Also, while they are at it, they could remove the “mental health” part, since this is almost entirely about smoking cessation.

How about Ghost Rider? At least in his Ghost Rider form?

Journalism can be a tough business.

...my fellow journalists...

Have you never seen a Spiderman comic?

STEM gets de-acronymed but not LGBT?

...inexcusably sloppy...

However, a side effect of the tidal wave of sexual assault and harassment reporting since October is that, having been long confined to explicitly feminist outlets, reporting about sexual impropriety is, all of a sudden, considered general-interest prestige reporting.

I’ve had fiances leave me, which elicited less of an emotional response from myself.

This is like a weird meta-orange calling and orange orange, orange...

Get fucked, everyone.

That sounds like a healthy response.

Maybe I have. Maybe I’ve had it since I was two years of age.

*You’re

Well then you don’t have a disease. Any disease. At all. Ever.