Remember Jumping Jack Cheese? So good.

But what kind of Doritos? Anything other than Cool Ranch and she’s a leech on society.

“He’s been paid more than $10.5 million by the federal government to do all that.”

Our tax payer dollars at work, I suppose, and yet people get their tits in a twist about a woman in front of them at the grocery story buying Doritos with food stamps.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL NEVER FORGET YOU,

So... What you’re saying is Kimmy’s father is Ron Swanson.

“Daddy’s Boy” is up there with “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” as far as things Tina Fey shared with the world, thus making it better go.

Aaaaaaaaand now I want to watch that again. Dammit, I have to buy that movie on DVD.

I just want Allison Janney to do everything. I would legit watch her do a Tyler perry style movie where she plays all the characters.

Best movie ever! I don’t want to choose, but Ellen Barkin OWNS Trashy Trailer Mom.

I will take either Ellen Barkin or Allison Janney mostly cause I loved them in Drop Dead Gorgeous

Julianne Moore.

I’d like Susan Sarandon to play her mom. If the mom is someone who wears short skirts, we need a MILF for this, and Susan is pretty funny when she’s in comedies.

I was thinking Megan Mullaly but I think your Patricia Clarkson suggestion won me over.

I’m just going to say this: if you think Hillary Clinton isn’t progressive enough for your vote, consider that the next president could appoint up to four Supreme Court justices, and then consider the types of people that someone like Rubio, Cruz, Bush, Christie, Huckabee et. al would appoint. They probably be worse…

THAT IS AMAZING AND EVEN BETTER THAN MY ASS TATTOO THAT IS ALSO TERRIBLE AND AMAZING

Ugh, I KNOW the grass is always greener on the other side, but I so wish I had small boobs like that. The way I dress is far better suited to small tatas.

As a liberal, I can confirm that our favorite activity (besides buying lobster with food stamps and having abortions) is child molestation. My family has a reunion every year just to make sure we all get a shot.

Yeah, I’d always lived in very liberal areas, so that first year it was quite a shock to see the “dead fetus” right next to the prize-winning pies. Seriously, what a bizarre juxtaposition. They always stick a couple of 11-12year old blonde girls on the booth so that nobody flips out at them. It's really gross and…

They’re like PETA. But for babies.

Why complain to them? Their canned reply suggests your response is what they hoped for. It lets them accuse you of some sort of cognitive dissonance.