Salmon and avocado roll. Just make sure the wasabi is not on the plate because it looks a lot like avocado. We found this out in a very unfortunate way.

It’s my parenting mantra. Kid’s being an asshole 3 year old? This too shall pass. Kid shits his/her pants and laughs about it? This too shall pass. Kid makes hobby of running into traffic/large crowds/insert dangerous thing here? This too shall pass.

You only think you were sleeping. You can never trust your own perceptions.

Meh. I sleep fine. My kids are like teenagers. I can’t drag them out of bed in the morning. And my younger one was one of those no-sleep babies. This too shall pass.

My suggestion would be to try one of the many suggestions.

Yes, at this age my kids both had three meals a day with me (and maybe some other things too because they were always starving). They’d get their boob or bottle and then have food. Ain’t nothing wrong with real food.

Something tells me this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Robert McIntosh. I’ll be wanting to punch that face in 20 years time. Assuming Rick Perry hasn’t nuked us all.

Jesus Christ, Rick. Who in the fuck cares who won the student president spot at a university they graduated from a bajillion years ago? The pettiness of these assholes knows no bounds.

Yeah, he’s a year younger than my dad and my dad....does not look like that. Methinks the aging well expectations are a little high.

Yeah, I’m trying to think what would fill that space at ours. Most mall anchors aren’t as big and it was already so hard to find a replacement after Target left. They’re dropping like flies at the ol’ Pine Centre.

I got pics of my girls at Sears right before they shut the studio down. I let them pick a background. It’s hot pink laser-y things. They are sitting on some white faux fur throw. The whole thing is perfect. Flashback to that pic of me and my brother at 2 and 4 years old, sitting in front of the “fall leaves”.

Probably a minority, but a very slight one. Don’t be too confident. My BIL and his wife were all freaking out about their nannies. I think that’s kind of quaint. A million a day for Melania’s apartment, but DAMN OUR PM HAS CHILDCARE.

Bahamas. I think you can do it cheaper when you aren’t legitimately concerned about being murdered.

Justin Trudeau spent 127k on a vacation and Canada is losing its shit. These Trump stories make me feel better. And also worse.

One time my sister’s kid had a huge poonami all over both of them on an airplane and she had to walk around like that all day, with connecting flights and everything. Her older one also puked in one of the airports.

But you’ll be fine. :D

Menopause is shitloads better than whatever my uterus has been doing to me for the past three years.

If you’re in PG, I think you’d be the second person on here that I’ve encountered. Plus me.

With cereal omg.

I want Target back. Our Zellers was awful. But our space isn’t empty. They filled it with a fucking Lowes. NOT THE SAME.

Malls are ugly but when you have winter for half the year...you end up liking malls.

Fully my favourite line, spoken or sung, in the whole movie.