This country would be so much better off if we just gave Florida back to Spain and Texas to Mexico, but we’d probably have to pay them just to take them off our hands. 

His next project will be to ask “what if the whole airplane was made of the same material as the black box?”

Would UMG let Greene use his music?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commotio_cordis

I would imagine most Philip Glass works are not fun if drunk or hung over

I remember a family friend told me about his experience trying to buy a car in the Soviet Union, much as was insightfully described here at Jalopnik https://jalopnik.com/what-it-was-like-to-buy-and-own-a-car-in-the-ussr-1783136956

There was a time in my life I’d pregame some things, but a Broadway production of Death of a Salesman is definitely not one of those things

Yea at first I was like, who am I to judge how people get paid, I’m sure a lot of people are choosing to play the game because it might be the best career option available. But then I decided I don’t really want to be contributing a single penny to the likes of Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder

I really love watching football, but stopped watching NFL games about 5 years ago when the JAMA CTE study came out. It feels gross watching a bunch of young, predominantly Black men getting their brains shaken to mush, especially when I would never in a million years let my kid play for that very reason. 

I was going to make some sort of a joke about Bob Kraft and special experiences and massages and all. But honestly considering the Pats have one of the whitest fan bases in the NFL, I’m actually pleasantly surprised and impressed that they did this. 

Why is this police and not campus security? I know a lot of colleges have essentially outsourced their security to the local PD, but many places still have dedicated security forces that can hopefully de-escalate a lot of situations without getting police involved. I would think that at an HBCU institution that would…

Those rankings are as suspicious as hot sauce rankings. There’s always the stuff that’s just straight up bad, but once you’re in the middle of the pack and up, it’s basically nonsense. There are different types and flavor profiles that you might choose depending on what you’re using it for. 

He might not be the best parent, but he’ll sure make a great Republican senate candidate

I assume his post-breakup situations go like this

As a hematologist, I can 100% say there’s no such thing as dying of a sickle cell trait crisis during exertion. 

It’s absolutely nuts! Voting for a party that actively supports actual antisemites and Nazis right where you live, all because the other party has maybe slightly weaker (and that’s questionable) support for a country where you don’t live. 

As a Jewish person, I wouldn’t go patting the broader Jewish community on the back. There are plenty of very conservative Jewish folk who tolerate all sorts of bad behavior from politicians because Israel or something. Like I have Jewish relatives whose parents were Holocaust survivors who don’t think twice about…

Nobody working on the project is actually using the product because they’re probably all busy looking for other jobs

Can we use it to just load up all the libertarian techbros and set them adrift at sea to build their own crypto-fueled utopia? 

I guess it’s safer to make fun of people who can’t come over and slap him. He better hope O.J. doesn’t get offended