Yea, looking at pictures of the Vatican, bling seems to be a universal part of many religions

If they were close enough to Staten Island, that’s basically Somalia

Can’t blame a man for wanting to play some games to kill time while waiting for a flight to Cancun

Deputies were able to respond to the scene so quickly because many of them were already there, they just had to put their tacticool police uniform on over the proud boy tacticool biker outfit. 

Y’know the thing about a man dressed as a collie, he’s got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’... until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the ground turns red, and spite of…

I’m sure Giuliani is still available. Or one of the others on the Kraken squad

That money to rebuild all the school buildings with only one door has to come from somewhere!

Just want to second this very important point. The bar soap is definitely better environmentally, both in terms of the amount of plastic waste generated and the energy needed to transport a bottle of liquid versus a soap bar. You can get bar soap ranging from unscented oatmeal based ones for very sensitive skin and…

I can’t think of a safer place to be than a giant auditorium full of good guys with guns

That only applies to corporations (not woke ones) and conservatives now

When Josh Hawley, Republican senator from Missouri, was asked about the case, he expressed regret that the student wasn’t able to pull himself up by his bootstraps and become white. 

Holy shit, the Venn diagram of people who wear Oakleys around their neck and who are actually cool and badass now has an overlap of one person. 

I remember reading about this case earlier with some of the case specifics and being horrified at how sloppy her medical care sounded. 

I was kind of worried he’d decide he can’t let Will Smith one up him with award show shenanigans 

But has Jonah Hill ever created a children’s bedtime story centered around cursing? 

I have no beef with Jonah Hill, but he absolutely cannot match Samuel L. Jackson for sheer awesomeness of delivery. There’s a reason Jackson is so quotable. 

Can’t wait for Trump to establish the MAGA whites-only baseball league, with games exclusive to Fox. 

That’s so fucking stupid. Can we let the kids get through one school year without closures or qurantine bullshit? As a pediatrician and a parent, I can tell you that most kids who are not raised by MAGA assholes have no issues wearing masks or getting vaccinations. Wearing a mask is literally one of the smallest…

Hey, this parachute has slowed our fall, so we don’t need it anymore. 

I really hope that this asshole was just exaggerating and doing more than just keeping his eyes in the general direction of the road while on a highway in a 5000+ lb vehicle.