I assume his post-breakup situations go like this

As a hematologist, I can 100% say there’s no such thing as dying of a sickle cell trait crisis during exertion. 

It’s absolutely nuts! Voting for a party that actively supports actual antisemites and Nazis right where you live, all because the other party has maybe slightly weaker (and that’s questionable) support for a country where you don’t live. 

As a Jewish person, I wouldn’t go patting the broader Jewish community on the back. There are plenty of very conservative Jewish folk who tolerate all sorts of bad behavior from politicians because Israel or something. Like I have Jewish relatives whose parents were Holocaust survivors who don’t think twice about…

Nobody working on the project is actually using the product because they’re probably all busy looking for other jobs

Can we use it to just load up all the libertarian techbros and set them adrift at sea to build their own crypto-fueled utopia? 

I guess it’s safer to make fun of people who can’t come over and slap him. He better hope O.J. doesn’t get offended

Yea, looking at pictures of the Vatican, bling seems to be a universal part of many religions

If they were close enough to Staten Island, that’s basically Somalia

Can’t blame a man for wanting to play some games to kill time while waiting for a flight to Cancun

Deputies were able to respond to the scene so quickly because many of them were already there, they just had to put their tacticool police uniform on over the proud boy tacticool biker outfit. 

Y’know the thing about a man dressed as a collie, he’s got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’... until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the ground turns red, and spite of…

I’m sure Giuliani is still available. Or one of the others on the Kraken squad

That money to rebuild all the school buildings with only one door has to come from somewhere!

Just want to second this very important point. The bar soap is definitely better environmentally, both in terms of the amount of plastic waste generated and the energy needed to transport a bottle of liquid versus a soap bar. You can get bar soap ranging from unscented oatmeal based ones for very sensitive skin and…

I can’t think of a safer place to be than a giant auditorium full of good guys with guns

That only applies to corporations (not woke ones) and conservatives now

When Josh Hawley, Republican senator from Missouri, was asked about the case, he expressed regret that the student wasn’t able to pull himself up by his bootstraps and become white. 

Holy shit, the Venn diagram of people who wear Oakleys around their neck and who are actually cool and badass now has an overlap of one person. 

I remember reading about this case earlier with some of the case specifics and being horrified at how sloppy her medical care sounded.