In the real ‘murica, the person is too large to fit out the window

The developers and fans just form a circular human centipede of asshole behavior

I’m sure a bill banning whistles is being drafted by Republicans as we speak. Not dog whistles though

I’m sorry, are you an emergency medicine physician? Are you frequently doing MOCAs and other cognitive tests in the ER? I have spent a lot of time rotating through the ED, working with ED physicians and residents, and have several ED attending physician friends and can definitively tell you that the only…

Ronny Jackson is an emergency medicine physician by training. I can guarantee that he has not administered any sort of real cognitive assessment since he was in medical school. He may be barely qualified to suggest a sitz bath for a hemorrhoid, or offer some advice for how to hide a problematic drinking habit,  but he…

They look like they were heading over for a “Racist Associates of Walmart” photoshoot. 

I’m guessing it got into the dirt from the shit-soaked slide water

Did they get to collect interest on it for those 4 days?

It’s always good to point out that police officer doesn’t even come close to cracking top 10 for most dangerous jobs. And somehow we don’t let roofers (#4) go shooting people who walk too close to their ladder

The man helped instill a love of books in a generation of kids. He’s so perfect for this job it’s amazing. 

Good for him. If Lil Nas X helps one Gay Black kid be more comfortable with themselves, he will have done more of a service to society than many of the people giving him shit ever will.

I’m pretty sure Gaetz is just hoping to use his support of Spears to score points with some high school girls. Not sure what’s in it for Cruz

I think one approach to this situation is to put cameras in the submarine, set it adrift in the ocean, and make a reality TV show about a team of scrappy raccoons figuring out how to pilot a submarine

Soviet fleet not have fancy plastic buckets, you make bucket with your hands

I can’t wait till next year until all the (white) frats and sororities, as well as the local bars, try to turn Juneteenth into the Black St. Patrick’s Day

Ugh, watching cops go through intersection always makes my sphincter clench. I remember as an EMT, taking the ambulance through an intersection meant really paying attention to try not to get T-boned or to T-bone anyone. I was always taught to even change the siren frequency from the typical wail to the yelp to be…

I look forward to Graham and Cruz trying to out-rend their clothing

That’s why you never have Taco Bell provide the on-set catering

they can tell from some of the pixels 

It’s easier to spew bullshit if the fly is in the back