I can’t say this enough, but the majority of the vaccine “side effects” are not actually side effects, that’s just your immune system doing its job. They are the symptoms of your body mounting an immune response against a newly encountered molecule that’s designed to be immunogenic. 

“Not sunburned enough, but on the other hand does drugs and sex trafficking. I guess that’s what they mean by compromise”

I hope that 63 year old trying to donate half his monthly income really enjoyed eating bootstraps for 3 months. 

”We just meant that the workers weren’t urinating in the bottles that you purchased. Urinating in employee-provided bottles is allowed and encouraged, as long as the urine is disposed off at home and not on company property. We need to keep our sewage bills low to bring you the best prices”

Are you asking about Gaetz or Trump? Because, neither

I’m sure the supreme court and the house minority leader will definitely allow it. And since he wasn’t really doing any governing work like proposing bills or doing anything useful on committees, I’m sure he can just call in during his hour of rec time. 

As a Florida Republican, this most definitely improves his re-election chances. 

yes, this. 3M and DAP and a few other companies sell small kits specifically for this. I think I paid like $10 for one that came with a small tub of repair compound, a putty knife, sand paper, and even a patch to use for larger holes. It took one short trip to the hardware store and 20 minutes of my time to fix a…

This is one thing I don’t think is actually facebook’s fault. I’d argue the fault lies in a combination of Congress, the FCC, and the phone companies. 

Concrete Cowboy and Thunder Force both look pretty great, can’t wait to watch them. 

I don’t think we should erase history by just melting them down, that just allows some shitstains to perpetuate more of this lost cause bullshit. I think the statues should be reforged into monuments that make it clear these people were traitors to their country and losers. Like put up a statue of them kneeling in…

They should have just hired the Russian dudes who have been successfully fooling tens of millions of idiot Americans about various stuff. Nikolai is very happy Amazon employee, so fortunate to have warm place to work without rampaging starving bears. Warehouse is much better than gulag!

I’d like a montage of them getting thrown out a la Jazzy Jeff on Fresh Prince

Somewhere Nestor is crying as he listens to “Just a friend”

I’m kind of irritated the company is not just made to publish the sequence as part of the approval process. Nobody is going to make a copycat vaccine for full production based on just the sequence - the challenge is in producing the mRNA (which is naturally unstable) at large scale, creating and producing the…

Good thing all those cavities will be filled with pocket lint in the first 10 days of use, and then I’ll have the fuzzy phone I always wanted

It seems like many cops feel some distress at killing a person, or at least know enough to say they feel distress. I think when you can’t even be bothered to fake that, you don’t deserve to be part of our society, that’s just some psychopath shit

Part of his problem may have been that he was out on a lamb, not out on the lam. 

I’m here all week, try the well done steak

I’m pretty sure that the best lawyer in the world can’t get a Black man custody over a white woman unless she beats the kids while doing meth in front of the judge. Even then, it’ll still be joint custody.