I thought Trump’s guardian spirit is Rudy Giuliani, although he’s pretty expensive as far as ineffective guardian sprits go.

It has everything it needs to slither into your bed and suffocate you in your sleep, so that’s a big nope.

I will proudly give him money to lure all the conservative idiots away from facebook and then leak/sell their personal information. 

That look is just not going to hold up to a good rendition of “What’s going on”

I’m sure that there’s no chance this man has hidden disciplinary records from his time in the NYPD. Only because they’ve already been expunged or destroyed

I was picturing a mask with a long and sharp narwhal horn, which would make sense not to allow. Sadly the real mask is so much less interesting

They should just go to 3 masks already. One for the nose, one for the mouth, and one for the chin(s)

Looks like the pope-mobile with an extra privacy suite. 

As a Jew, I will be the first to tell you that plenty of my fellow Jews are racist as all fuck. Something about being at the bottom of the heap in this country really makes people want to shit on others on their way to the top (see also Irish, Italian, etc).

You can say the same thing for adding more USB ports via an adapter. On my old MBP with the SD card slot, the card barely stuck out. They also sell SD to mini/micro SD card adapters that end up essentially flush with your laptop, so you’re basically adding semi-permanent storage. Not everyone needs it, but when it’s…

I know a few people who store non-critical things like media on their laptops on SD cards - it costs 10x as much to upgrade your MBP from 256 to 512 gigs storage as it does to get an equivalently sized SD card. So if it doesn’t need super-speedy access, having an SD slot for your extra storage is a nice bonus. 

In my experience, sometimes companies are no better - minimal budget to get things set up, and no budget or staff to do training and maintenance. And when predictably things don’t work, you end up paying all that and more for some consultant to come and talk you into buying shiny new stuff that then fails to be…

I’m sure he had hundreds of hours of Call of Duty “training”

I have an uncle who is the most intense hardcore hunter type (if there’s a season for it, he does it). We have large family gatherings with lots of kids over at his house, and everyone always feels safe bringing any age kid. Every gun is religiously stored in a safe, separate from the ammo, which is in another safe.…

You use your x-ray vision to look for the racist bone

I’m sure the software is probably pretty complicated and has to be tailored to each state’s requirements, and the lawmakers were probably under the impression it was just an excel spreadsheet where you can just sort by crime and release date. No reason to have to pay someone and give them an appropriate amount of time…

He’s not just clutching pearls!

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature

Ted Cruz is going to embrace this and use it to explain why he went to Cancun

Ted Cruz absolutely wants a phone game where you get to be a while man defending school bathrooms against trans monsters. It’s a great way to spend a day at the beach